School Children should choose the subjects they study from a young age and stop doing subjects they find uninteresting.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Mrs Monica Kullan Senior Nurse Practitioner University of Marchbank Health Centre Hilldunne Rd Marchbank 29 September 2022 RE:
Mr
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Jake
Peterson
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, DOB: 17 March 2001 Dear Mrs Kullan I am writing to introduce
Mr
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Jake
Peterson
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, who has intermittent alopecia suspected
due to
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depression and stress. He needs continued monitoring and personal arrangement at the university.
Mr
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Peterson
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intially presented with hair loss in patches since he was 13. It is likely associated with anxiety
due to
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school bullying. He is the referred to a Trichologist, concluded that there is no correlation and suggest it is exacerbated by his stress.
Consequently
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, he was prescribed with steroid cream for which he used for three months and
then
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discontinued
due to
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insomia and sudden aggression. He has irregular hair growth at succeeding years.
Mr
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Peterson
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loose six kilograms in his weight and
then
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advised to consult a doctor in regard to his recurrent symptoms.
Although
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he was hesitant, he opted homeopathic remedies. There is no beneficial results in the aformention treatment rather it makes him more stress, low mood and it affects his social life. His father has pattern of baldness and his mother has ab depression . He is non-smoker,
however
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, he socially drinks 20 units of alcohol weekly. It is beneficial if you could organize a separate exam room for him
due to
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his alopecia. Please monitor his alcohol intake as it is increased by 8 units
last
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three months. I would be grateful if you can address his concern in transferring to the university and his independent living conditions. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Yours, sincerely Nurse
Submitted by d_jayson08 on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay provides a relevant response to the prompt by agreeing with the statement and presenting clear reasons and examples. However, there is some lack of focus on specific aspects of the topic, which affects the overall coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is somewhat weak, with a lack of clear organization and coherence between ideas. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present, but the overall flow of the essay could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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