At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of younger adults, compared with the number of older.

#time #population #countries #adults

It is true that nowadays some

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

have a large number of younger generations and it provides the

country

with many benefits over the increasing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older generation. On the one hand, youngers are strong, competent and knowledgeable people of the

country

. They are the backbone of the state economy.

Therefore

this

population

able

Add a missing verb

is able

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to handle any pressure or risk

with

Change preposition

apply

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strongly. Many companies with

this

young energy and creative brains

Correct your spelling

provide

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

good

Correct your spelling

pleasant

pleasent

Correct your spelling

pleasant

,comfortable working environment for all. It causes

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

booster economical development.

For instance

, if someone has

Correct your spelling

pleasant

Correct article usage

a pleasent

show examples

pleasent

Correct your spelling

pleasant

working environment he or she tends to work with their best.

Hence

, good production from all the companies and industries brings continuous income to the

country

. Not only

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

safety and security of the state

also

depends

Correct subject-verb agreement

depend

show examples

on them. They are the baseline of safety.

On the other hand

, unemployment will be increased dramatically due to

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

demand for job opportunities.

In addition

, urbanisation

also

increased because younger are moving to the cities for seeking green pastures.

However

, slums and environmental pollution increased due to

this

matter.

Moreover

, it is quite difficult to provide infrastructure for the people who gather in the cities. In conclusion, new blood to the

country

is more beneficial and profitable. To lead the state and carry out the economical growth on their shoulders.

Submitted by menakalelwala on Thu Sep 29 2022

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

219 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of younger adults, compared with the number of older.

Word Count

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Men and women are capable of doing all jobs equally well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?