Some people say that the government should put money in the Arts, such as music, opera and paintings. Other people think money should be spent on construction of public facilities instead. What is your opinion.

It is believed, that
newspapers
and
books
will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
show examples
their popularity and be useless, for the reason that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will be replaced with free e-
books
and
Internet
resources. I totally agree with
this
statement, undoubtedly, it is better to use free, more available and relevant resources.
First
of all, buying printed
newspapers
and
books
will really cut your budget.
For instance
, if one newspaper costs 2 dollars, you will spend 60 dollars for data, which you can read
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Internet
for free.
Books
even cost much
expensive
Correct quantifier usage
more expensive
show examples
. If you are a bookworm, you will spend approximately 20 dollars only for one month. To sum up, you will get
Moreover
, you will wait for your turn a lot, because it often sells in crowded shops.
Therefore
, you will not get all
fresh
Correct article usage
the fresh
show examples
news in time, while you are waiting for
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
turn, there will appear,
for instance
, 2 more car accidents. What about
books
? I consider
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
that it is not convenient, because
books
are really heavy, especially
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if you want
bring
Add the particle
to bring
show examples
more than one. So, it is much
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
to use
Internet
resources, rather than
newspapers
and
books
, because it saves your time and you always have access to the news and
books
. In conclusion, I want to reiterate, that
books
and
newspapers
will absolutely disappear, since it is really expensive, and not really convenient. Still,
Internet
information leads and stays the best option for everyone.
Submitted by milyyy.aaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: