In more and more countries, people choose to give money on special occasions rather than personally giving gifts. Why might this be the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, in most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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countries, people prefer sending money to their loved ones

instead

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of personally giving presents

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their special moments.

This

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essay will discuss the main reason behind

this

Linking Words

practice and

further

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will conclude on whether sending checks in place of presents is a positive development or not. In

modern

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the modern

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era, everyone

is having

Wrong verb form

has

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their own set of interests. It is very difficult to judge people and their choices.

Therefore

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, it becomes difficult to select a gift for others that would actually excite them.

Moreover

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, there is always a thought running in the mind of the giving party that the other person might have the same thing already.

For example

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: At one of my friend's

wedding

Fix the agreement mistake

weddings

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, I bought a beautiful handbag for her only to understand later that the same bag was gifted to her by someone else as well.

This

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kind of situation is leading to more and more individuals sending cash

instead

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of gifts.

Furthermore

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, giving money has certain advantages as it will save all the efforts and time which are spent on choosing a perfect gift. We just need to decide the amount of funds and it will serve the purpose.

Also

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, the receiving party will be

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apply

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happier as they can utilise the capital as per their own will and it will

also

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help in bearing the cost of the party they had thrown.

For instance

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: Mostly,

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Indian

weddings

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weddings,

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it is a ritual to send

shagun

Correct your spelling

shogun

to the couple which can later help the parents who have already spent a huge amount on the wedding.

On the contrary

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, money is not what most people seek and they are

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apply

show examples

happier with

the

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apply

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personalised gifts. Gifting a special thing will create a lifetime memory and will leave a happy image in their minds.

On the other hand

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, cash will not be counted at all.

However

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this

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idea is superseded

with

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the fact that wealth is something that we all need at all points

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time.

Therefore

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this

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method has no harm in any manner.

Therefore

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, in

the

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apply

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conclusion, I would say that

change

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a change

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in the trend of transferring the funds is a better option as it provides flexibility to the person receiving the payment to utilise the amount in their own way rather than receiving personal gifts.

cshivam2675

Sep 30, 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Try to make your main points clearer with better topic sentences in each paragraph, which will help with the logical flow.

task achievement

While your examples are good, ensure they are clearly linked to your main argument and reflect deeper analysis rather than simply stating facts.

task achievement

Consider expanding your conclusion to summarize the main points discussed rather than just stating your opinion.

task achievement

You provided personal examples to support your argument, which adds a relatable touch to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

384 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial flexibility
recipient
unwanted gift
busy lifestyles
cultural shifts
socially acceptable
monetary gifts
practical
uncertain economic times
essential expenses
personal preferences
tastes and preferences
safer choice
climate consciousness
waste and sustainability
unnecessary production and consumption
freedom to choose
recipient’s needs and desires
giving money
special occasions

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In more and more countries, people choose to give money on special occasions rather than personally giving gifts. Why might this be the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the academic success of students depends on the quality of their teachers. Others think it depends on the personal commitment and attitude of the students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticism on their teachers. Others think this will you lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to Job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of Job satisfaction for all workers?