Large shopping malls are replacing small shops.What’s your opinion? Good or bad?

In
Correct your spelling
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contamporary
show examples
contamporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
era, a large number of small
shops
in the city have been replaced by big
malls
, due to the fact that small
shops
have no power to
Correct your spelling
maintain
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
their area.
Therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
have been contributed by giving big
malls
support with regulation and authority. In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
this
will create several
demmerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
for small
shops
which will be discussed in the following paragraph. There are several drawbacks that people can face with
replecing
Correct your spelling
replacing
small
shops
.
Firstly
, usually small
shops
are belonging
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
poor societies,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
only income for them are from
saling
Correct your spelling
selling
small commodity.
Hence
, small
shops
wish that government give them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to develop their own
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
,
therefore
special
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
for small
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
should support
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
improve their income.
For example
, recent research reported that many public suffer because their areas have been replaced by big
malls
, which is they cannot earn money again, and it will increase the number of poor society.
Secondly
,
switch
Wrong verb form
switching
show examples
small
Add an article
the small
show examples
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
to big
shops
will lead
bad
Change preposition
to bad
show examples
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
for
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation, because they will spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money and time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there.
Therefore
, large
Correct your spelling
shopping
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
usually have
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
amanities
Correct your spelling
amenities
, complete
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
show examples
and good service,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will make citizens more comfortable.
For example
, nowadays many students spend a lot of time and money just
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing game in
mall
Add an article
the mall
a mall
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will lead
bad
Change preposition
to bad
show examples
behaviour for pupils because they cannot focus on their study,
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
eventually the ability
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct your spelling
understand
undrestand
Correct your spelling
understand
the subject decrease. In conclusion, replacing small
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
big
malls
will lead
several
Change preposition
to several
show examples
drawbacks,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should support small
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
to develop their
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
by giving them
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
or
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
.
Submitted by IELTS_8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: