All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity, How could it be tickled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults #reason #rise

In modern society, the number of

people

who are confused with obesity keeps increasing. Not only the adults but

also

some young ones are stuck in

this

disaster.

This

essay will discuss the root causes of

this

phenomenon, as well as the strategies for it.

First

and foremost, the multiple processing of

food

materials makes it bring high calories for humans which can not be burnt easily. With the progress of globalization, some

food

industries would be fired or boiled the materials several times to make them taste delicious.

However

this

kind of

food

usually is more attractive than healthy

food

such

as salad, which engenders

people

's addiction.

Hence

, over calories will absolutely lead to the growth of weight and some heart diseases.

Moreover

this

situation is

also

influenced by the growing pressure in society. It is realizable that many

people

pay attention to eating fatty

food

to release stress. Take the example of the survey in University, it shows that more than 50 per cent of employees tend to become obese in their

second

year in the companies. And some of the interviewees told that eating a desert full of sugar has already been a way to relax their minds.

In addition

, the solutions to deal with

this

common problem that so many

people

face can be divided into two aspects.

Firstly

, the construction of stadiums or gyms applied for 24 hours will be more convenient for

people

who lack spare time to exercise in their daily life.

For instance

, some governments help build numeral studiums in high schools and colleges which are available for students of every age to exercise. Admittedly, some companies could set a special period for their employees for sports only which help them maintain fit bodies

instead

of occupying much time sitting before the computers' screens.

Secondly

, the acknowledgement of eating healthy should be instilled in children and adults to make sure that everyone has an idea of injecting adequate nutrition and appropriate calories into every meal. If all of us have the ability to cook

food

in a more healthy way, building strong muscles and bones which aid us to avoid obesity will be less difficult. All in all, we should undertake the responsibility of keeping our bodies healthy.

This

essay has discussed the reasons and solutions from two sides: the enthusiasm to exercise and change the dietary pattern.

Submitted by yisyu_989 on Fri Sep 30 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

395 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity, How could it be tickled?

Include an introduction and conclusion

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include ● Where you stayed ● What the problems were ● How they can fix your complaints

The best way to reduce emissions from vehicles is to impose a higer tax on vehicles which use a lot of fuel and lower tax on those that don't. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

as well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

The government should pay the cost of the course to everyone who wants to study at the university. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore, working hours should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?