In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teens working outweigh the disadvantages?

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In certain areas, teenagers are urged to take on part-time jobs

while

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they are still in school. Some argue that

this

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helps them to reach financial stability at a younger age,

while

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others believe that,

this

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prevents them from concentrating on their studies, as their valuable time that could have been spent studying is

instead

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dedicated to their job.

To begin

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with, globalisation has provided students with the opportunity to travel to different countries for better educational prospects.

For example

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, most teenagers from India travel to Canada to pursue their desired programs.

However

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, for some, the cost of studying abroad becomes a barrier, as their budget may not cover the fees for upcoming semesters.

Furthermore

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, the ability to work

while

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studying offers these teenagers the chance to earn the money needed to pay their fees, making their education more financially feasible.

On the contrary

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, the belief that working part-time causes these students to spend their valuable time, which should be dedicated to studying

instead

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of being spent at the job.

This

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, in turn, hinders the ability to concentrate on their studies, as their energy is spent at work which leads to both mental and physical fatigue. In conclusion,

while

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working part-time can offer financial benefits and opportunities for students to support their education, it

also

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presents challenges. Balancing work with academic responsibilities can lead to fatigue and reduced focus on studies.

Nonetheless

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, I agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as it opens the door for minorities to avail better education, ultimately paving the way for a better life.

gurvirsingh.academicFri Mar 21 2025

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task achievement

Your essay provides a balanced view of the topic, discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, it could benefit from a stronger thesis statement that clearly outlines your main argument in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

While your paragraphs are organized, the connection between the ideas could be enhanced. Make sure to use linking phrases to show how your points relate to one another more clearly.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, instead of mentioning 'money needed to pay their fees', you could refer to specific scenarios or statistics that illustrate this point.

structure

Your essay effectively presents the topic and includes a clear introduction and conclusion that summarizes your arguments.

argumentation

You’ve identified both sides of the debate, which is beneficial for understanding the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial independence
time management
work-life balance
practical experience
resume building
social skills
responsibility
stress management
academic performance
distraction
workload
personal development

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In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teens working outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, people try to balance between works and other part of lives. However, not many is able to achieve this. What problems does this cause ? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue ?

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Music is played in every society and culture in teh world. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.