Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #friends #families #work

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It is said that in

this

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day and age, many

people

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will choose to live far away from their friends and

families

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work

Use synonyms

Although

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this

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might have some demerits, there are still some merits that exist. In

this

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essay, I will analyze both sides of

this

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problem. Apparently, there are several benefits when

people

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choose to live far away from their

families

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and their friends for

work

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First

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of all,

people

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will have more chances to be more mature and live independently. To be more specific, they will make money on their own to live and no longer be a burden to their

families

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or relatives.

Moreover

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, they have to do most household chores by themselves

such

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as cooking, cleaning, and paying bills or taxes.

Secondly

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, there is an opportunity for them to advance their careers faster. Since they will have some conflicts when they live with their parents, they cannot pay attention to their

work

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which leads to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

reduction in productivity.

Consequently

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, living without disturbance,

people

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can wholeheartedly devote themselves to their careers.

On the other hand

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for

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apply

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those relocating jobs,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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are more at

the

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apply

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risk of enduring health problems.

Initially

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, they might suffer from physical health problems. They spend too much time at

work

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and

then

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they forget to eat or sleep which results in exhaustion and they can faint anytime. In another case, whenever

people

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get sick, there will

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nobody to take care of them, and the sickness might be more and more serious. In the

second

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place,

people

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will put up with mental health problems as well. Some

people

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may be homesick because of many challenges when they live in an unfamiliar place.

Furthermore

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, migrant workers tend to keep their suffering to themselves just to ease their

families

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’ worries;

as a result

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, they will be depressed and vulnerable without any awareness from their family members. In conclusion, working alone far from

families

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can have

such

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positive and negative aspects.

Nevertheless

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, in my point of view living independently is more beneficial.

Submitted by nguyenminhman21691 on Fri Sep 30 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

career advancement
job opportunities
job market
salaries
personal growth
cultural horizons
adaptability
resilience
global perspective
emotional and psychological impact
loved ones
loneliness
homesickness
support network
long-distance relationships
emotional strain
face-to-face interactions
financial cost
housing deposits
travel costs
living expenses

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Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people believe that key to healthy life is exercise. some believe that food is the key. discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the government should pay for health care and education, but others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.