The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for you answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#dangers #people #habit #society

Most

smokers

know that

cigarettes

will harm their health but they still keep

this

bad activity. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will analyze

causes

Correct article usage

the causes

show examples

and feasible solutions to

this

problem. Several main causes can explain the reality in which

people

keep smoking

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Firstly

this

activity is because smoking makes

people

feel relaxed when they are stressed. To be specific, the nicotine component in

cigarettes

quickly affects the nervous system of humans, reducing anxiety, thereby

smokers

often use it when they have to deeply think about something. Another rationale for

this

habit is that

people

easily get

cigarettes

to hand. In Vietnam,

for instance

, tobacco is sold

Change preposition

show examples

every corner of streets, supermarkets or convenience stores so that

smokers

quickly buy them at a cheap price whenever they

need

Correct pronoun usage

itneed

show examples

. In order to decrease the proportion of

smokers

in the population, the government should impose more stringent smoking laws and tobacco

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

. These days, many developed countries have applied strict punishments for breaking smoking rules in public areas with

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

high

fine

Fix the agreement mistake

fines

show examples

for penalties.

Therefore

people

should carefully consider when they want to smoke.

On the other hand

, if

Correct your spelling

businessmen

show examples

business men

Correct your spelling

businessmen

show examples

have to pay more tax on producing and trading

cigarettes

, their

profit

Fix the agreement mistake

profits

show examples

may seriously fall down.

In addition

people

who smoke have to pay more money to maintain the habit.

As a result

, they gradually reduce smoking and tend to give up. In conclusion, there are some reasons why many

smokers

still keep the bad habit, but I believe that

this

social problem will decline in the future

Change preposition

with

show examples

effective government management.

Submitted by dng.minhngoc on Sat Oct 01 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for you answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions c an you sug?

Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. Some people say that government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree

Sarah Goodwin∗ , Yigal Attali∗ , Geoffrey T. LaFlair∗ , Yena Park∗ , Andrew Runge∗ , Alina A. von Davier∗ , Kevin P. Yancey