Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person

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Every so often

success

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is determined by financial stability and assets a

person

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possesses.

While

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this

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may be true to some extent, a

person

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success

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cannot be defined by only the riches he has and it takes a lot of dedication and hard work to achieve it as well. Financial prosperity will only be one side of the scale when it comes to achieving

success

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Change preposition

apply

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in my view.

Firstly

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, it is true that having assets or money is a parameter of being a

success

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, but being successful is not only that, but

also

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creating an image or a brand that people will choose on top of their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

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For instance

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, Steve Jobs was successful in growing a brand and

also

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influencing millions of young people to follow his path which ultimately led them to achieve something great.

Secondly

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, it should be measured in the values and the legacy a

person

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leaves behind so that people will embrace the impact. The ingredients of

success

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are a mix of hard work and patience.

In other words

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, a

person

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cannot be successful overnight.

To begin

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with, having a dream and goals will only take you to one junction of the road.

Moreover

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, a

person

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needs knowledge, discipline and resilience to work hard to achieve something. For example, it took Steve Jobs 25 years to build Apple to become successful with many failed attempts.

Finally

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, growing your network will determine the number of opportunities which come your way in today's complex world as well. In conclusion,

Success

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can be gauged with a combination of wealth and values a

person

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creates for society, and it takes optimistic thinking and a positive attitude to achieve that.

Submitted by madonnasama on Sat Oct 01 2022

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that the ideas in each paragraph are smoothly linked to improve the flow of the essay.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, provide more varied examples and further develop your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, which adds to the overall coherence of the piece.

task achievement

Your use of examples, such as Steve Jobs, effectively supports your main points and illustrates your arguments well.

task achievement

You have effectively addressed the prompt, providing a comprehensive response to each question asked.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Your opinion

The workplace nowadays is trying to employ the equal number of females and males. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In todays world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific reasearch. do you think the advantages outweight disadvantages?

You organised a birthday party at your place and borrowed something from your friend for the same. But it was damaged at the party. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, describe what it was how it was damaged what you will do about it

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assigments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.