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Band 4

In many countries woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not repent the financial security that marriage country. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #woman #people #women #income #security #marriage #country
In recent days,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 do not have
necessity
Correct article usage
the necessity
show examples
 to get married because of many reasons. One of them is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
paycheck increase.
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
show examples
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 that In many nations, as
women
's income
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased, they depend on economic stability less than before. But, I think there are many reasons why they avoid or dodge the
marriage
. I am going to represent many factors which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 associated with
this
 issue. First of all,
women
's social status is improved ever
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 before. In the past, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of my country,
women
should
Verb problem
had to
show examples
 eat
different
Change preposition
at different
show examples
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
 because of sexual discrimination
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
originated from traditional culture. But As nowadays, global culture
dominate
Change the verb form
dominates
show examples
 across the country,
Correct word choice
and those
show examples
those culture
Change the determiner
that culture
those cultures
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
disappeared a couple of decades ago.
Secondly
, Self-egoism is widely
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
 around the globe. people do not focus on others ever than before. What matters to them is themselves, so they do not care about
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
properity
Correct your spelling
property
prosperity
 and family matters. Needless to say,
women
also
 were
affecte
Correct your spelling
affected
 by
this
 trend. So they do not have
interest
Add an article
an interest
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
marriage
.
Thirdly
,
Marriage
 can lead to pregnancy. Give-a-birth and growing kids are extremely hard work for a couple.
Especially
Rephrase
In particular
show examples
,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
show examples
 usually take a whole part of
role
Add an article
the role
a role
show examples
 in the process. Physically and mentally, it is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
exchaustive
Correct your spelling
exhaustive
exhausting
 job to do for
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 woman.
Forthly
Correct your spelling
Fourthly
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marrige
Correct your spelling
marriage
 is not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 virtue of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 public any longer. It is just one option for them. As
Concept
Correct article usage
the Concept
show examples
 of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
marriage
 is changed
according to
 environmental
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
, people have a tendency to think that
marriage
 is not a duty.
Sum
Wrong verb form
Summing
show examples
 up
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these all aspects,
recent
Correct article usage
the recent
show examples
 decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marriage
due to
women
's perception
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many causes as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned before. I admit that the income increase of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 would be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of
Add an article
the reason
show examples
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
that
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
this
 social problem. Anyways, a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
marriage
 is
critical
Add an article
a critical
show examples
 issue for our society's wealth and development.
Threrefore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, we have to find a solution as soon as possible for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
Submitted by king777123 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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