Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing(for eg. through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #eg #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

It is true that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments and some companies are tracking individuals through new

Correct your spelling

communication

comminucation

Correct your spelling

communication

technologies,

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

show examples

people

may

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not

noy

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not

necesserily

Correct your spelling

necessarily

noticed.

Although

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

Correct your spelling

controlling

controling

Correct your spelling

controlling

methods have many positive

imapcts

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impacts

, in my opinion, I believe that the drawbacks do outweigh the benefits. On the one hand, the

Correct your spelling

advantages

adavntages

Correct your spelling

advantages

this

trend are twofold.

To begin

with, governments can use

this

monitoring in order to control and track the footprint of crimes which happened in societies.

For instance

, cyber security

department

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departments

show examples

of police in modernized countries use cameras to watch

citizens

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citizens'

citizen's

show examples

behaviour, and in other

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

they may navigate the location of offenders via their handsets so they can arrest them quickly. The technology companies like Google, Facebook and Apple,

moreover

, track their users when they are surfing around the web and collect data about their tastes and personality traits.

As a result

, these businesses advert more targeted ads to their

costumers

Correct your spelling

customers

show examples

and end-users.

On the other hand

this

subject has some drawbacks which might bother

people

and consumers.

Firstly

the

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apply

show examples

privacy is the most vital part of digital life after

internet

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the internet

show examples

revolution in the world, whereas

this

monitoring

processes

Fix the agreement mistake

process

show examples

may endanger

Correct your spelling

the

this

thie

Correct your spelling

this

priority. A shiny example

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

illustrate my meaning is Instagram which

collect

Change the verb form

collects

show examples

its

users

Change to a genitive case

user's

users'

show examples

data and

sell

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sells

show examples

them to governmental organizations and

also

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agencies

agancies

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agencies

without

awaring

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awarding

the victims.

Furthermore

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

monitoring

implementaions

Correct your spelling

implementations

implementation

might be used in unethical ways in some countries.

In other words

, some cruel governments track

people

to control them as they like rather than use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

in a positive way. In conclusion,

Although

this

progresses

involve

Add the particle

to involve

show examples

a few merits, from my

Correct your spelling

perspective

prespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

, I suppose the disadvantages

are outweigh

Change the verb form

outweigh

show examples

the benefits because I am concerned about

people

's privacy.

Submitted by alihamzeh on Sat Oct 01 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people feel that Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view.

The best way to make roads safer is to make vehicle drivers take a driving test each year.