Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing(for eg. through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is true that
the
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apply
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governments and some companies are tracking individuals through new
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communication
comminucation
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communication
technologies,
meanwhile
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,meanwhile
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people
Use synonyms
may
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not
noy
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not
be
necesserily
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necessarily
noticed.
Although
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Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
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controlling
controling
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controlling
methods have many positive
imapcts
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impacts
, in my opinion, I believe that the drawbacks do outweigh the benefits. On the one hand, the
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advantages
adavntages
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advantages
of
this
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trend are twofold.
To begin
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with, governments can use
this
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monitoring in order to control and track the footprint of crimes which happened in societies.
For instance
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, cyber security
department
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departments
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of police in modernized countries use cameras to watch
citizens
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citizens'
citizen's
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behaviour, and in other
cases
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,cases
show examples
they may navigate the location of offenders via their handsets so they can arrest them quickly. The technology companies like Google, Facebook and Apple,
moreover
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, track their users when they are surfing around the web and collect data about their tastes and personality traits.
As a result
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, these businesses advert more targeted ads to their
costumers
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customers
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and end-users.
On the other hand
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,
this
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subject has some drawbacks which might bother
people
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and consumers.
Firstly
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,
the
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apply
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privacy is the most vital part of digital life after
internet
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the internet
show examples
revolution in the world, whereas
this
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monitoring
processes
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process
show examples
may endanger
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the
this
thie
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this
priority. A shiny example
can
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that can
show examples
illustrate my meaning is Instagram which
collect
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collects
show examples
its
users
Change to a genitive case
user's
users'
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data and
sell
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sells
show examples
them to governmental organizations and
also
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advertisement
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agencies
agancies
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agencies
without
awaring
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awarding
the victims.
Furthermore
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,
Linking Words
this
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these
show examples
monitoring
implementaions
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implementations
implementation
might be used in unethical ways in some countries.
In other words
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, some cruel governments track
people
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to control them as they like rather than use
it
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them
show examples
in a positive way. In conclusion,
Although
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this
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progresses
involve
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to involve
show examples
a few merits, from my
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perspective
prespective
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perspective
, I suppose the disadvantages
are outweigh
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outweigh
show examples
the benefits because I am concerned about
people
Use synonyms
's privacy.
Submitted by alihamzeh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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