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Band 4.5

Today, majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

#majority #children #grandparents #fact #parents
Nowadays it has become normal to raise children
by
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with
show examples
 their
grandparents
. Since immediate
parents
 are
occuipied
Correct your spelling
occupied
 by their carriers and they can hardly find any time for
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children
childrens
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children
show examples
. The upcoming essay will
ellobrate
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celebrate
elaborate
 the benefits and drawbacks of being brought up by
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grandparents
show examples
grand
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grandparents
show examples
parents
 and how it affects the family.
To begin
 with,
grandparents
 have the experience and tolerate
to deal
Change the verb form
dealing
show examples
 with the
kids
hence
, it is beneficial for them to raise the
kids
.
Secondly
,
kids
 have
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
learn
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learned
show examples
 a lot of things from their
grandparents
.
Grandparents
 taught them how to respect elders.
Parents
 are usually more comfortable
to
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apply
show examples
living
their
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with their
show examples
kids
 with their
grandparents
 as compared to babysitters or unknown
stranger
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strangers
show examples
.
For example
, the word of wisdom that
i
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I
show examples
 got from my
grandparents
 is
pirceless
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priceless
, he taught me the ways of life that it took me
to
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two
show examples
 years to learn by myself. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 always two sides
of
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to
show examples
story
Add an article
the story
a story
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
 when we talk about disadvantages, there
is
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are
show examples
also
 some negative points.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 when
kids
spends
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spend
show examples
 less time with their
parents
, they tend to
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
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lose
show examples
 their
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respect
repect
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respect
of
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for
show examples
 father and mother.
Kids
 will no longer be emotionally attached
of
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to
show examples
 their
parents
 because there is
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
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in relationship
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 as the
kids
 will grow up they will fill
this
 gap with drugs and crime. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, it is both healthy and unhealthy to
raised
Add a missing verb
be raised
show examples
 by
grandparents
.
Grandparents
 should always be a part of
kids
Add an article
a kids
show examples
 life and play a vital role of
up bringing
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upbringing
show examples
 their grand
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children
show examples
childrens
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children
children's
 but
similarliy
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similarly
parents
 should not response their entire
responsibilties
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responsibilities
 to their
grand
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grandparents
show examples
parents
 because
this
 will create
physcological
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psychological
physiological
 gap to their
kids
 and will result will
voilence
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violence
 and crime in long run.
Submitted by Faisal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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