IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Academic teaching is important for passing the exam, and other skills such as cooking or dressing should be not taught. To what extend you agree or disagree

In contemporary society, some academies or schools believe that academic
skills
Use synonyms
 that were required in the exam
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 Mathematics or
Physics
Punctuation problem
Physics,
show examples
 are much more important than other
skills
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 cooking or dressing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 those
skills
Use synonyms
 should not
teach
Wrong verb form
be taught
show examples
 in the institute. I extremely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain why I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument. First of all, in my opinion,
school
Use synonyms
 or the academy is the place where children can learn everything they want and
get
Verb problem
gain
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience from their life as much as possible to prepare for their adulthood.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a small society where
students
Use synonyms
 can learn the life-subject that may affect or contribute to their future
skills
Use synonyms
 or job selection
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 talking
skills
Use synonyms
 or time management
skills
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, basic
skills
Use synonyms
 like cooking, dressing
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, and communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 are important to teach the
students
Use synonyms
 in the class too, because these
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 help children
can get
Verb problem
gain
show examples
 confidence
while
Linking Words
 living in the world after they
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
 from the institute.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, reducing the academic
subject's
Check wording
subjects'
show examples
 time and giving
the
Check wording
students the
show examples
 chance to
students
Use synonyms
 to study the
skills
Use synonyms
 that they want to learn can make
students
Use synonyms
 stay more motivated, active and not bored going to
school
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would say that the
school
Use synonyms
 or the academy should give more
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
 to
students
Use synonyms
 to learn
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the extra
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they want to learn
instead
Linking Words
let
Wrong verb form
of letting
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
 study only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic
skills
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class could make the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 study much more effectively .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position. Use clear phrases like 'I fully disagree.'
task achievement
Try to add examples to support your points, such as specific situations where cooking skills are useful.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion' for better flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that you explain fully.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion against the idea that only academic skills are important.
task achievement
Your points about life skills like cooking and communication are relevant and valuable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • important
  • skills
  • teach
  • learn
  • pass
  • exam
  • cooking
  • dressing
  • future
  • career
  • knowledge
  • success
  • education
  • experience
  • balance
  • life
  • individuals
  • opportunities
  • necessary
  • formal
What to do next:
Look at other essays: