Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
belief amongst most
people
that we should manage the attitude of
kids
while others have a different opinion that the
kids
should be better with liberty. I believe
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
control
and freedom together. We will discuss
both
points of view. Children are like
an empty vases
Correct the article-noun agreement
an empty vase
empty vases
show examples
at a teenage age. Whatever we teach them they learn and believe it whether it is good or bad. They
also
learn from their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
behaviour. They listen to their
parents
and know their limitations. They know how to
control
their action and reaction. For, example
kids
learn to respect their elders from their
parents
or teachers. In
this
case, when
parents
get angry,
kids
know how to react or
control
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
This
is very important for youngsters.
On the other hand
, others feel that youngsters want more space.
Parents
should not always
control
them. Let them be self-independent.
parents
give them authority that they should take decisions by themselves. few
people
believe that the young generation can understand all things through their own experience. Elders should not strict with them.
People
believe that children need some time to understand what is right for them and what is wrong for them. In conclusion,
Both
points of view
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
different. Many
people
have different beliefs but
both
are important and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that we should teach them
both
how to
control
themselves in different situations and be aware of limits. youngsters
also
know that they should not cross their limits.
Submitted by Faisal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: