IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #control #behaviour #children #age #freedom
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
 belief amongst most
people
Use synonyms
 that we should manage the attitude of
kids
Use synonyms
 while others have a different opinion that the
kids
Use synonyms
 should be better with liberty. I believe
Use synonyms
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
control
Use synonyms
 and freedom together. We will discuss
both
Use synonyms
 points of view. Children are like
an empty vases
Correct the article-noun agreement
an empty vase
empty vases
show examples
 at a teenage age. Whatever we teach them they learn and believe it whether it is good or bad. They
also
Linking Words
 learn from their
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 behaviour. They listen to their
parents
Use synonyms
 and know their limitations. They know how to
control
Use synonyms
 their action and reaction. For, example
kids
Use synonyms
 learn to respect their elders from their
parents
Use synonyms
 or teachers. In
this
Linking Words
 case, when
parents
Use synonyms
 get angry,
kids
Use synonyms
 know how to react or
control
Use synonyms
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is very important for youngsters.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others feel that youngsters want more space.
Parents
Use synonyms
 should not always
control
Use synonyms
 them. Let them be self-independent.
parents
Use synonyms
 give them authority that they should take decisions by themselves. few
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the young generation can understand all things through their own experience. Elders should not strict with them.
People
Use synonyms
 believe that children need some time to understand what is right for them and what is wrong for them. In conclusion,
Both
Use synonyms
 points of view
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 different. Many
people
Use synonyms
 have different beliefs but
both
Use synonyms
 are important and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that we should teach them
both
Use synonyms
 how to
control
Use synonyms
 themselves in different situations and be aware of limits. youngsters
also
Linking Words
 know that they should not cross their limits.
Submitted by Faisal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: