Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

A certain point of inhabitance that some
people
hope to archive
success
in the educational side or professional path. Even though, there are some supporters
for
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of
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this
segment. But , I firmly criticized
from
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for
show examples
several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
and
this
essay will
exploring
Change the verb form
explore
be exploring
show examples
with a summary.
Firstly
, we should discuss "What is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
? ". From my perspective ,
Success
is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
achievement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life. It is different
between
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apply
show examples
from
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
to
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
On
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One
Correct your spelling
On
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the other hand not only
people
but
also
animals
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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may be some targets or
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
show examples
.
There fore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, we can not
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
decide
categories. But , nowadays our
people
also
made some competition among
people
for
success
. They believe
success
is depend
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depends
show examples
on education and careers. So , they always try to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
things. It has
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of advantages . There are advantages We try to best things, We tend to work always, Children motivate for studies and make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition among friends etc... Even though , In my view there are disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Because of reason , many problems are created in the society and school environment. There are rapidly increasing most of selfish youngest in
future
, a Lack of mental and physical fitness, creating non-sensitive children, and
Very
Correct article usage
a Very
show examples
busy and synthetic society. So, these reasons will be attached to our
future
. In conclusion , I believe we should succeed for
us
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
. Children should
forced
Change the verb form
be forced
show examples
to education to
achieving
Change the form of the verb
achieve
show examples
their
future
. We do not think always about our surrounding
people
.
Then
we can create a beautiful country and
future
.
Submitted by kmgaya1996 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
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