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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Fresh water reserves are becoming less worldwide. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions that can be done by countries and individuals?

#water #reserves #countries #individuals
In contemporary society, freshwater reserves are used for a variety of purposes by humans
such
 as for drinking, utilizing, and manufacturing.
For
this
 reason, the world has fewer
water
 sources year on year.
Therefore
, many
people
 believe that the government and individuals should find a solution in order to keep
water
 for
use
 in the future.
This
 essay will explore the causes of
this
 problem,
as well as
 some measures that could be taken to solve it.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons why clean
water
 reserves are decreasing around the globe. One of the important reasons is the unnecessary usage of individuals. It is obvious that some
people
 do not know how to
use
water
 to be great and some ignore the value of
water
, which allows
people
 to waste it.
Secondly
, there is an increase in the number of citizens.
For example
, the more citizens who
use
water
, the more the decline in
this
water
. The
last
 but not least reason is the utilisation of the industries. There is no denying that
water
 released from the industries makes the lake or river spoil because of a lot of chemical stuff which is thrown
along with
 the liquid.
This
 problem needs to be addressed by citizens
as well as
 the government.
Firstly
, the authorities should launch a policy about the usage of
water
 in order to limit and force them to
use
 it for necessary situations.
Moreover
, the institutes should teach students to know the value of
water
 and the saving
water
 method. Another reason is the collection of spoiled liquid so as to treat it to be clean and release only
water
 which cannot be restored.
To sum up
,
water
 is the main factor in life,
in other words
; if it vanishes from the world,
people
 will face huge troubles.
Therefore
, the authorities and every person should take action to solve
this
 trouble.
Submitted by champperkhu on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea that's developed and not repeated elsewhere. Use transition words to connect these ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that sums up your viewpoints. These should be distinct and tie in all your main points coherently.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific examples and explanations. Personal anecdotes, statistics, or hypothetical scenarios can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Aim for a complete response by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure to provide both reasons for the problem and a range of solutions, and expend on them sufficiently.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on each point with more detail. Use rich and varied language to express these ideas explicitly.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. Avoid vague statements and ensure that the examples clearly relate to the points you're making.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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