SOME COUNTRIES ENCOURAGE TEENAGERS TO HAVE A PART-TIME JOB AND SEE IT AS A GOOD THING WHILE OTHERS DISAGREE. GIVE YOUR OPINION AND EXPLAIN BOTH VIEWS.

Adolescents are encouraged to do
part-time
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a part-time
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job
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jobs
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in some countries, while the situation is
opposite
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the opposite
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in others. In my opinion, the former is more
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sensible
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sensable
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sensible
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, because
part-time
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the part-time
a part-time
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job
can cultivate a teenager's view of
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independence
independance
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independence
and creativity. Encouraging teenagers to do a part-time
job
could foster their independent view. A person will know he/she could earn money through
working
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work
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, and he/she can totally use
these money
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this money
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in the field that they are interested in.
This
is very important to the development of a person
especially
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,especially
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for a young boy or girl.
For example
, Lee was a big fan of Judo, but his parents do not want him to learn
a
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apply
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martical
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martial
art when he was a student. Afterwards, he got
a
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an
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assistant
totur
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tutor
tour
placement in my high school and he invest his salary in
local
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the local
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judo club, and he won the champion title in my province match at the end. Part-time work can
also
inspire people's creativity. Some individuals might argue that learning
the
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apply
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knowledge from
the
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apply
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textbooks is most important
in
Change preposition
at
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the school age.
However
, textbook
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knowledge
knowlege
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knowledge
is not enough and it can not help an adolescent if there is
no
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not
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a
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apply
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place to practice.
For instance
,
Chinese
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the Chinese
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government and most parents are not willing to promote students to do anything
no
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not
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revelant
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relevant
to the exams, while Japanese students have many chances to do some practice
works
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work
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.
Although
the
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children
chidren
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children
in the two states both have
a
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apply
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good
perform
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performance
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on the international test, China cannot educate many great
inventers
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inventors
or scientists. In conclusion, I prefer the areas
where
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that
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motivate adolescents to have a part-time
job
as it is helpful to construct their
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independent
independant
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independent
view and
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facilitate
facilite
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facilitate
their creativity.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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