SOME COUNTRIES ENCOURAGE TEENAGERS TO HAVE A PART-TIME JOB AND SEE IT AS A GOOD THING WHILE OTHERS DISAGREE. GIVE YOUR OPINION AND EXPLAIN BOTH VIEWS.
Adolescents are encouraged to do
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
job
in some countries, while the situation is Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
opposite
in others. In my opinion, the former is more Correct article usage
the opposite
Correct your spelling
sensible
sensable
, because Correct your spelling
sensible
part-time
Add an article
the part-time
a part-time
job
can cultivate a teenager's view of Correct your spelling
independence
independance
and creativity.
Encouraging teenagers to do a part-time Correct your spelling
independence
job
could foster their independent view. A person will know he/she could earn money through working
, and he/she can totally use Change the form of the verb
work
these money
in the field that they are interested in. Change the determiner
this money
This
is very important to the development of a person especially
for a young boy or girl. Add the comma(s)
,especially
For example
, Lee was a big fan of Judo, but his parents do not want him to learn a
Correct article usage
apply
martical
art when he was a student. Afterwards, he got Correct your spelling
martial
a
assistant Change the article
an
totur
placement in my high school and he invest his salary in Correct your spelling
tutor
tour
local
judo club, and he won the champion title in my province match at the end.
Part-time work can Correct article usage
the local
also
inspire people's creativity. Some individuals might argue that learning the
knowledge from Correct article usage
apply
the
textbooks is most important Correct article usage
apply
in
the school age. Change preposition
at
However
, textbook Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowlege
is not enough and it can not help an adolescent if there is Correct your spelling
knowledge
no
Correct your spelling
not
a
place to practice. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, Chinese
government and most parents are not willing to promote students to do anything Add an article
the Chinese
no
Correct your spelling
not
revelant
to the exams, while Japanese students have many chances to do some practice Correct your spelling
relevant
works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Although
the Correct your spelling
children
chidren
in the two states both have Correct your spelling
children
a
good Correct article usage
apply
perform
on the international test, China cannot educate many great Replace the word
performance
inventers
or scientists.
In conclusion, I prefer the areas Correct your spelling
inventors
where
motivate adolescents to have a part-time Correct word choice
that
job
as it is helpful to construct their Correct your spelling
independent
independant
view and Correct your spelling
independent
Correct your spelling
facilitate
facilite
their creativity.Correct your spelling
facilitate
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite