IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement. Give the reason and relevant examples.

#people #sports #reason
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It is true that it has become more and more popular for some
people
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 to enjoy dangerous
sports
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.
Although
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 it is argued that individuals have a right to have some funs with these kinds of
sports
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, it is my
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belief
belif
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belief
 that dangerous
sports
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 should be banned. On the
one
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 hand, dangerous
sports
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such
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 as rock climbing,
Correct your spelling
snowboarding
show examples
snow boarding
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snowboarding
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 or ski jumping
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 experiences for
people
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 that they have never experienced before. Due to
refreshing
Correct article usage
the refreshing
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 experience, they can not easily forget it and constantly continue to enjoy them.
Also
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, there are
athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
 who have evolved from simply enjoying themselves to professional.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, I think these kinds of extreme
sports
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 have bad effects
to
Change preposition
on
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human
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humans
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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to
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on
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 their health. In my own experience, I witnessed accidents
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
several times.
One
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 of the cases was my cousin. He had loved
Correct your spelling
snowboarding
show examples
snow boarding
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snowboarding
show examples
 almost all his life. Of course, he was very good at it and displayed great skills in that.
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Unfortunately
Unfourtunately
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Unfortunately
,
one
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 day he had a mistake and rolled down the snowy hill. Both of his legs and
an
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apply
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arm
was
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were
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 broken.
In addition
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,
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because
beacuse
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because
 of unbearable pain, he had blacked out for several months. All family members spent a cruel time either.
Although
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 he pulled through, he can not still live as active as he used to be. I know there are many
people
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 who enjoy dangerous
sports
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 in a safe way.
Nevertheless
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, only
one
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 mistake can threaten
one
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's life.
Furthermore
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, curiosity should not be controlled by oneself, so it has to be strongly regulated by laws. Still, there are patients and fatalities because of those
sports
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. In conclusion, it seems to me that governments have a more crucial role in protecting
people
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 from dangerous
sports
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 and
to prohibit
Change the verb form
prohibiting
show examples
 it.
Submitted by huhuhuhu00 on

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