IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
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Some people have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to develop and upgrade themselves with the need of time while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 have no courage in doing
this
Linking Words
 and prefer to follow what is happening
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
As per
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, I would surely say that
this
Linking Words
 planet has many options for all of us and it is
Correct your spelling
up to
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 us how we spend our
life
Use synonyms
. The best option is to face situations warmly and try your best to change your bad time
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I agree with the
last
Linking Words
 statement and in
this
Linking Words
 essay; I will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 point of view with examples. Some guys don’t bother to change themselves and keep doing hardworking with
assigned
Add an article
the assigned
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 throughout their
life
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
person
Correct article usage
a person
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,
although
Linking Words
 not interested in doing that kind of work but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
involved .
For example
Linking Words
, someone is doing
salesman
Correct article usage
a salesman
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 job and he earned a little bit
money
Change preposition
of money
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 to fill the expenditures of their family.
Such
Linking Words
 persons continue their hard
struggling
Replace the word
struggle
show examples
 even in bad conditions or weathers as well as comes in
Add an article
the
show examples
poor category,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
, they are less educated or don’t have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to do something, so, always keep doing unwanted profession.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is another category of people who have
passion
Add an article
a passion
the passion
show examples
 to work
according
Add the preposition
toaccording
show examples
 the demand of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
bodies
Fix the agreement mistake
body
show examples
 never back from failures and get succeeded
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
man or woman is not happy with his or her job
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
one would move to learn skills for the betterment of
life
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
 having a quality
life
Use synonyms
 with their family. These
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of having
focus
Add an article
the focus
a focus
show examples
 to have money for buying an object, always, think about the knowledge that can develop those
object
Fix the agreement mistake
objects
show examples
,
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result,
succeeded
Wrong verb form
succeed
show examples
 more in
life
Use synonyms
 than the
loosers
Correct your spelling
losers
. In the
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
, I would say it is essential to face problems and left comfort zone for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better future.
Submitted by nageenshoukat124 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: