IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Without a doubt,
traffic
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 congestion is a relevant issue these days , especially in larger cities. From my perspective,
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 is the case because the
number
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 of cars has been increasing over the past decades but motorways and urban roads have remained the same.
Therefore
Linking Words
, endless
traffic
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 jam influences individuals' productivity.
Moreover
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,
vehicles
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 have become more affordable today which is why we have an excess of automobiles on the roads. Inevitably, it has an environmental impact. The notions will be examined in the essay. First and foremost,
traffic
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 congestion has always been an issue to tackle but it is getting a more serious problem. The reason is poorly developed roads and motorways and a huge
number
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 of
vehicles
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.
For example
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, statistics show that Moscow and
Instanbul
Correct your spelling
Istanbul
 are the most congested megapolises in the world. It comes as no surprise, that individuals living in the cities are more irritated and less productive and less happy than citizens of Kopenhagen which is a paradise for cyclists.
Thus
Linking Words
, constant
traffic
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 jams take their toll on people’s emotional state, results at work and level of happiness.
Besides
Linking Words
, cars used to be extremely expensive.
However
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 is not the case anymore. So, the correlation can be seen that the price has decreased and the
number
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 of
vehicles
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 has grown.
For instance
Linking Words
, long-term research has shown that 50 years ago 1 family out of 5 could afford to purchase a car and nowadays 1 family out of 3 can buy a vehicle.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number
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 of
vehicles
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 contribute to climate change
due to
Linking Words
 harmful emissions. Unfortunately, electric cars are costly at the moment and very few people can afford them. In conclusion,
traffic
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 congestion has indeed become an issue in the contemporary world which is detrimental to citizens' mental and physical health, productivity and relationships let alone the environment. Obviously, governments should pay more attention to
this
Linking Words
 problem.

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Task Response
Provide a more detailed and balanced analysis of the causes and effects of traffic congestion. Consider discussing public transportation, urban planning, and alternative solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the essay is well-organized with clear topic sentences and supporting details for each paragraph. Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
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