The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #school #curriculum

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The number of overweight

people

Use synonyms

is increasing day by day and the healthcare system is under extreme pressure to tackle health problems. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that more physical education

lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

lessons

show examples

should be put in the school timetable. I

am agree

Change the verb form

agree

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

method

besides

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

other

the

othe

Correct your spelling

other

suggestions. There are several solutions to overcome

this

Linking Words

issue by

Correct your spelling

cooperation

coorporation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

between government, education system and family.

Firstly

Linking Words

, more lessons can be added to

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

timetable that

are

Change the verb form

show examples

related to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sports. It is not only

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

being in shape

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

for enhancing teamwork

between

Change preposition

among

show examples

students.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

Correct your spelling

government

govenment

Correct your spelling

government

can spread awareness among young

people

Use synonyms

about the consequences of

unhealthy

Add an article

an unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

some ads should be made by TV channels to encourage children to get more exercise.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, more observation can be on fast foods to cook healthy foods.

Finally

Linking Words

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

should share more time with children to reduce the

Correct your spelling

amount

aamount

Correct your spelling

amount

of time that

Correct your spelling

their

there

these

theie

Correct your spelling

their

children dedicate to playing computer games. In summary,

people

Use synonyms

should be encouraged to have

Add an article

a more

show examples

healthy lifestyle and do more physical activities.

This

Linking Words

goal is

achieveable

Correct your spelling

achievable

Correct your spelling

cooperation

coorporation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

between families, governments and educational systems.

Submitted by TUTOO on Mon Oct 03 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

189 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writings can be stored electronically. Others think that printed books still play important roles. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that hardcopy materials are no longer essential as the e-books can be stored in the digital machine while others think that they still play vital roles. I believe in advanced level of technology, printed books should not be used.
6
band
The tendency of news media to focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extend do you agree
Presently, news media are more tend to work on crises rather than positive aspects. Some people argue, that it can have some disadvantages for communities. I strongly disagree with this statement, and this essay will argue that the tendency of broadcast problems is more beneficial for people's awareness and their preparation, besides it can develop their trade.
5.5
band
Many Le Thanh Tong grade 11 students lack focus and drive. What is the causes for this? What do you do think is the most effective solution?
All around the world, many students in higher classes are demotivated daily. Whether it is losing the work ethic to study for exams, or the drive and focus to prepare for their future. In my opinion, it is really easy to loose the track of the path you are following, this can be due to increased distractions or alot of pressure put on by your closed ones. In this essay, I will be talking about why this is the case and how we can improve this situation.
6
band
The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The map below illustrates the site of an airport in the present time and how it would look after reconstruction a year later.
6.5
band
Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
There is no doubt that during vehicle-free days, private ownership of two-wheelers or four-wheelers is prohibited, while the use of public transport such as buses, cabs, and metros is recommended in metropolitan areas. Although there are both pros and cons, I believe that the benefits of this policy significantly outweigh the drawbacks.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people think that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writings can be stored electronically. Others think that printed books still play important roles. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The tendency of news media to focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extend do you agree

Many Le Thanh Tong grade 11 students lack focus and drive. What is the causes for this? What do you do think is the most effective solution?

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?