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Band 5.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibility
Some argue that
people
's
lives
is
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are
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 happiest during
teen
Add an article
the teen
a teen
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 period while others believe that
the
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apply
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adulthood brings more happiness
although
 there
are
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is
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 greater responsibility. In my opinion, I believe that young
people's
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people
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 are happiest than adults.
First
at
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of
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 all, from an economical point of view,
teenagers
 are not aware
about
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of
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 the conditions that
exists
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exist
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 in
the
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apply
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daily life.
For instance
, most
teen
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teens
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 do not know the facts that affect the
country
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country's
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 economy
such
 as oil prices in the world.
Secondly
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,
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although
 it is very common that young peoples
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
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 some jobs in the present times, most
of
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apply
show examples
teens
Add an article
the teens
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 do not have financial responsibilities like
rents
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rent
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 or housing
cost
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costs
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 owing to their parents affords these
cost
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costs
show examples
. Another good reason to state that
Correct article usage
the teenagers
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teenagers
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teenage
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 years are the best times in
people
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people's
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lives
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is that during school periods young students are focused mainly
in
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on
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 the academic environment,
consequently
,
teens
lives
 their life in a happy scenario in which
the
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apply
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connected activities like
sportive
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a sportive
the sportive
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 championship, music festival and even scientific competition represented the daily duties that young peoples should deal with.
Finally
, from a social perspective
teenagers
 most fear
about
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apply
show examples
social concepts or discrimination,
As a result
, they live as they consider.
For example
, most
teens
 are involved in sports activities and
volunteeries
Correct your spelling
volunteer
volunteers
volunteering
 organizations as well.
Those relationship
Change the determiner
That relationship
Those relationships
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undoubtedly
Add a missing verb
are undoubtedly
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 very common among young
people
 rather than adults. In conclusion,
Correct article usage
the teenagers
show examples
teenagers
Replace the word
teenage
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 years are the happiest for most
people
duo
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to the activities that normally do. There are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
worriers
Correct your spelling
worries
show examples
 about current affairs like oil markets or political situations.
Teenagers
 commonly are not influenced by social gossip.
In addition
, school times are very important
in
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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teens
Change to a genitive case
teen's
teens'
show examples
 ages because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 positive influence that it has
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 young's
lives
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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