It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that it is important for
people
to take
risks
, both in their professional
lives
and their personal
lives
. It is my
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that the positive effects of
this
phenomenon certainly outweigh its disadvantages. The distinct disadvantage of
this
development is that taking
risks
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
and
anxiety
Replace the word
anxious
show examples
because
people
have many things to achieve each day.
For example
, there are often reports in media about
people
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
of stress from taking
risks
and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not manage everything
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same
time
. Despite
this
, there are significant advantages it can bring to
people
’s
lives
.
Firstly
,
people
can save
time
and have much more
time
for relaxation.
This
is because they can set priority things and they can achieve goals.
For example
,
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the latest study conducted by Mahidol University,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
revealed that 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
people
who
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
risks
tend to finish work on
time
.
This
example shows that making
risks
play a major role in their job and their personal
lives
.
In addition
to
this
, on a wider
level
Add a comma
,level
show examples
it may
also
benefit
people
can learn how to prepare for
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
through
this
process because
people
will find
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
effective
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
. To illustrate, in recent news, it has been reported that
people
will recognize the responsibilities I would
therefore
argue that
although
there are disadvantages of the current trend, they are outweighed by the advantage.
Submitted by sirawan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: