Some people believe that violence on television and computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behavior

Nowadays, young children, as well as adults, are favoring violent TV programs and violent computer

games

.Even young kids who are into

such

games

tend to meet with their friends online, not in person, in order to play online

games

together, like a shooting

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

and a fighting

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

. In my view,

violence

in fiction has a bad impact on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In the following sections, I would like to state my opinions. I believe that it severely influences on young generation. Children are not able to distinguish between reality and fiction well since they are not mature enough.

This

, those who usually see fiction in the fictional world might be violent or aggressive at school.

Moreover

, people use dirty words, like "kill you" or "fuck you", especially while they are playing violent

games

, so they might offend someone with their words in reality.

In addition

, even adults who prefer

such

aggressive entertainment are more likely to violate social rules.

On the other hand

, if the

violence

on TV and in

games

looks more fictional and unusual, it can let people aware of how dangerous it is and notify them that

violence

is not supposed to exist in

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

real life.

Additionally

, for adults who are busy with their work every day,

this

kind of entertainment can make them feel different and relieved from everyday life.

However

, I suppose that it had few pros than cons. To conclude, I believe that

violence

on TV and in

games

affects

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society in a bad way. We need to consider

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

problem in order to control violent behaviours in our society.

Submitted by rivale0920 on Tue Oct 04 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

proliferation
desensitize
empathetic response
aggressive behavior
formative years
impressionable
catharsis
media psychology
mixed results
family environment
genetics
regulatory bodies
rating systems
vulnerable demographics
inappropriate content

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Some people believe that violence on television and computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweighs disadvantages?

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In some countries people who have high incomes pay very high taxes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for individuals and for the country as a whole

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