In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or products from animals such as medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The human diet

majorly

Rephrase

is mainly

show examples

constitute

Verb problem

composed

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

and animal products.

Due to

Linking Words

their nutritional value

Use synonyms

animals

Punctuation problem

, animals

show examples

are widely used to make medicines. Recently, an organisation named PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of

Animals

Use synonyms

) has interfered in these matters and reduced animal usage by 30% globally. And I agree that in today's

world

Add a comma

world,

show examples

they are no longer involved in any illegal activities.

Firstly

Linking Words

, modern technologies and science have progressed immensely

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, scientists

now have

Correct word order

have now

show examples

invented plant-based proteins which are

Change preposition

apply

show examples

equivalent to proteins extracted from

animals

Use synonyms

. They are not only easy to cook but

also

Linking Words

have high nutritional

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

. To exemplify, a world-renowned burger chain has started replacing animal meat with plant-based meat

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

consumers have failed to identify the difference as it looks, smells and tastes similar.

Hence

Linking Words

, several social media influencers endorse these natural alternatives so that all

animals

Use synonyms

can live in harmony and in their own natural space.

Secondly

Linking Words

, consuming these alternative options doesn't impact health

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

it has been observed that these natural proteins can help in reducing cholesterol and fats from the body and improve blood sugar levels. If we talk about aquatic

animals

Use synonyms

, inventors have

also

Linking Words

substituted the fish oil

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

was extracted from the fish

with

Punctuation problem

, with

show examples

grain oil and

achieved

Verb problem

managed

show examples

to maintain the same health benefits.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

fishing

Punctuation problem

, fishing

show examples

has decreased by 25% in some parts of the world.

For example

Linking Words

, as per a recent survey done by Stanford University, 65% of people prefer alternate meat options to eat when they were

explained

Verb problem

informed

show examples

how

animals

Use synonyms

were tortured and killed.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, governments have become more active in dealing with situations.

Lastly

Linking Words

, farmers have

also

Linking Words

started to search for alternatives

instead

Linking Words

of selling their

animals

Use synonyms

to earn their living. They are now more involved in spreading awareness within their community.

To conclude

Linking Words

, for the betterment of the human

race

Add a comma

race,

show examples

it is advisable to search for substitutes

instead

Linking Words

of following age-old dietary habits

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

can lead to the extinction of

animals

Use synonyms

sanketswami8193

Oct 4, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your view is clear, and you say you agree. This is good to start.

task response

Explain more with strong reasons and only true facts. Build a plan before you write.

coherence and cohesion

Ideas should flow well. Use one idea per paragraph and add a simple link to the next idea.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple link words like and, but, also, for example to show how ideas go together.

content strength

You state your view at the start and end with a close.

evidence strength

You use examples that readers can see (plant-based meat, studies).

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

plant-based alternatives
nutritional values
greenhouse gas emissions
deforestation
water usage
ethical considerations
exploitation of animals
cruelty-free
humane alternatives
chronic diseases
heart disease
diabetes
cancers
economic opportunities
animal farming
processing
cultural shifts
sustainable products
media influence
social movements

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Most countries spend much money on education as they start to realize the importance of education. In your opinion, which two subjects are the most important for young people and which one is least important. (Subjects : Literature, sports, mathematics, economics, physics, history, music, geography).
There is an ongoing interest in the choice of discipline for young college students. Many countries allocate enormous funds to education as they realize its importance. The question now is which two subjects are the most essential and which one is the least. In my opinion, Physics and Mathematics transcend all other courses while geography is least required in this modern era. I will delineate my reasons in this essay, supported with relevant examples.
8
band
Your internet connection has been slow and intermittent. Write a letter to your internet service provider to complain. In the letter: – Describe the problem and why you are unhappy – Arrange for an engineer to visit your home – Request a reduction in your bill
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you to provide an expected situation with internet speed.
8
band
The Vital Role of Banking in Promoting Economic Growth and Development The Mechanisms of Banking: Understanding the Interplay between Savers and Borrowers
The banking system is a complex structure that plays a vital role in promoting economic growth and development. At its core, it is designed to facilitate the flow of money between saving and borrowing individuals, serving two main categories of customers: savers and borrowers. Although these two groups may seem disparate, their interactions are inextricably linked, forming a symbiotic relationship that is the lifeblood of the banking system.
7.5
band
Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?
Although few individuals believe that in all the years spent schooling, a blend of time has been consumed on fact-finding rather than on hands-on experience, I firmly agree with this statement. This is because school learners have always been taught to memorize answers, and the academic style lacks a well-equipped laboratory in most schools making it impossible to teach the students practical skills.
7.5
band
As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？
There is a growing tendency to live in small family units or individually as countries develop.From my perspective, the phenomenon may be caused by the growth of daily expenditures and the changing public attitudes towards life.However, it will grow both personal and social burdens.

In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or products from animals such as medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Your internet connection has been slow and intermittent. Write a letter to your internet service provider to complain. In the letter: – Describe the problem and why you are unhappy – Arrange for an engineer to visit your home – Request a reduction in your bill

The Vital Role of Banking in Promoting Economic Growth and Development The Mechanisms of Banking: Understanding the Interplay between Savers and Borrowers

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？