IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
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We live in an age when many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 spend their
time
Use synonyms
 by chatting, surfing
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 or playing
videogames
Correct your spelling
video games
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. Some people claim that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should be engaged
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 community
work
Use synonyms
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
. The following essay takes a look
a
Remove the article
apply
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both sides of the argument.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, most
teenagers
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too
Add a missing verb
are too
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 busy at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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 and
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
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. They spent about 5-8 hours each day
to get
Change the verb form
getting
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 new knowledge and
associate
Wrong verb form
associating
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 it.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, teachers give homework, that
take
Change the verb form
takes
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 certainly 2 hours of their free
time
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. It is hard to study and
work
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 at the same
time
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they need
relax
Fix the infinitive
to relax
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 and take off the stress.
Correct your spelling
If
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It
Correct your spelling
If
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 they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
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 get enough
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
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, they will harm
healthy
Correct pronoun usage
their healthy
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. Common death from overwork in Japan is
ideal
Add an article
an ideal
the ideal
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 example.
However
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,
teenagers
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 should help
to
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apply
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society
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 too. Schools and colleges have short and long holidays, where
teenagers
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 have full
time
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 free.
In
Change preposition
During
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this
Linking Words
 period of
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 they can do community
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. That will give able to get experience, help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 and create
good
Add an article
a good
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with each other.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to raising and growing up the
society
Use synonyms
's life level.
For example
Linking Words
,
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teenagers
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
 volunteers do a lot of impact
to
Change preposition
on
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society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
teenagers
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 should have enough
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
 in their free
time
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, but
also
Linking Words
 they should do community
work
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 sometimes. In my opinion, adults and
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 together and do
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
, but not overwork.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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