IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

17. Some people think that a persons improve their intellectual skills more when doing a group activity. To what extend do you agree.

#people #persons #skills #group #activity
In modern society, many tasks or assignments work in groups;
therefore
, some
people
 believe that intellectual
skills
 are better improved by engaging in
group
activities
. Personally, I would agree with
this
 statement. Many reasons can support
this
 idea.
First
, every person is unique and has his own thoughts or logic, so when there are numerous
people
 gathering together, a considerable amount of perspectives will be piled up.
Hence
, as the discussion goes, some of the perspectives can stimulate others' thoughts and probably optimize the areas that have been neglected, leading to
further
 improving intellectual levels.
Furthermore
, studies have shown that many vital inventions in the world were from
people
 outside the field, meaning that various and unorthodox thoughts are always required and one's capability is somehow restricted.
On the other hand
, opponents would claim a lack of efficiency in
group
activities
. Since the time spent on understanding others can be long and tedious, one can always save that and train his intellectual abilities alone at home.
Also
, there would be many distractions in
group
 situations
such
 as social pressure or interpersonal
skills
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 if a person wants to hone intellectual
skills
, other methods should be more efficient.
However
, I would argue that human beings always need somebody to provide feedback or support when learning, and there are always going to be blind spots when doing things in solitary, so
group
activities
 are essential. In conclusion,
although
 some benefits can be observed through developing intellectual
skills
 oneself, I would not think those outweigh the advantages that
group
activities
 can provide;
hence
,
people
 should take part in
group
activities
 as much as possible when it comes to the improvement of intellectual
skills
.
Submitted by lop42684268 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: