Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Nowadays,

smartphones

are very popular devices that everyone has due to

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

convenience.

However

, a few

children

are using them too often in their daily life. In

this

essay, I will give my opinion on what are the reasons for

this

problem and whether it is good or bad for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters. There are many causes that lead

into

Change preposition

show examples

children

’s increasing screen time. The

first

one is

children

have lots more opportunities to use

smartphones

. These days, it’s very common for parents to make

smartphones

a reward for their kids after they’ve done something nice. Another thing is there are so many apps and games on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smartphones

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters to discover. But they’re very vulnerable to

these addiction

Change the determiner

this addiction

these addictions

show examples

since they have lots of free time and they prefer

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

to activities like reading books. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

development has bad effects on the

children

. They won’t be going outside as much. In

this

case, it will make them exercise less so their body will become weaker, and the kids won’t be able to receive enough vitamin D from the sunlight, which is crucial in their bones’ growth. One more thing is the

children

will have a sedentary lifestyle.

This

means they won’t go out or talk with their friends face to face that much.

Therefore

, they will lack the ability to communicate with others. In conclusion, the causes are mainly from the kids’ parents and

this

is a negative development.

Smartphones

can be useful for

children

to learn and entertain,

however

, parents should maintain how and how much their kids use

smartphones

, alongside

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

encouraging them to exercise more and read more.

Submitted by nguyenminhman21691 on Tue Oct 04 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyles in the countryside. other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. discuss both view and give your opinion.

some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides ans give your own opinion.

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to university while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that paying taxes is a big enough contribution to society, while others think people have more responsibilities as a member of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?