IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#rate #unemployment #countries #education #school #level
Undoubtedly, nowadays, the unemployment rate has risen and
as a result
 career ,opportunities there are.
Therefore
, a significant proportion of graduates think of finding a temporary position
instead
 of entering higher
education
 and acquiring a university degree.
However
, in my opinion, these two facts should not be confused because
education
 yourself is vital not only to get a
job
 in the
future
 but
also
 is beneficial for your progressing to a useful individual. So, no matter the situation which is prevailed in the
job
 market, higher
education
 must be supported and promoted. Little do we know about what will happen in the
job
 market in the
next
 decade. Having said that, the thing that we can be sure of is the importance of
education
.
To begin
 with, someone who invests in his
education
, except for the learning he gets,
also
 improves his mental health. More specifically, entering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university is not only about studying but
also
 socialising and exposing yourself to new experiences.
For instance
, through ,university we are taught crucial values
such
 as approaching new people with ease, expressing our emotions, thinking outside of the box and challenging our beliefs by getting out of our comfort zone.
Such
 important qualifications for our life in the
future
.
Moreover
, in the wake of high ,unemployment
education
 has a more signification role than ever before. Studying a subject that you love and becoming an expert makes you more competitive in the
job
 market. Gaining
such
 qualifications allows us to secure a position with more ease and confidence. In conclusion, we should not forget the present by thinking only about the
future
, but
firstly
, we ought to invest in ourselves in the present in order to get maximum profits in the
future
 and
this
 thing can only happen through
education
.
Submitted by sukhie626 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: