IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #effects
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These days, a large amount of advertising is aimed at scion and some people feel that it should be banned.
While
 advertising can have several negative impacts on
children
, I believe it should not be completely banned. 
To begin
, commercials aimed at her can have a detrimental impact, particularly on the relationship between parents and their heirs. Many offspring are easily manipulated to want things they see in advertisements, and
this
 may cause conflicts between parents and
children
 if parents deny their
children
of
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something they want.
In addition
, advertising targeted at
children
 can have negative effects on their health, as many fast food and junk food companies these days direct their marketing strategies toward
children
, making their products appear to be healthy and appealing. Unfortunately, most
children
 do not understand the concept of advertising and are easily persuaded to purchase these unhealthy foods, and
as a consequence
, can be at risk of many serious health issues,
such
 as obesity and diabetes. 
On the other hand
, I feel that there should not be a ban on advertising aimed at
children
 because advertising is one of the key aspects of a prosperous economy. If bans were to be placed on commercials, many companies would suffer from a decrease in sales and profits, which would eventually affect unemployment rates and the economy.
For example
, Coca-Cola provides thousands of employment opportunities in advertising throughout its branches across different regions around the world. If advertising
was
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is
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 banned, a large number of workers,
such
 as marketers, may become unemployed, and
as a result
, the government will have to provide temporary financial support for those unemployed people.  In conclusion,
although
 advertising aimed at heir may have certain negative impacts on family relationships and health, imposing a prohibition on it is unreasonable.
Submitted by razab5469 on

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