IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think only best students should be rewarded, while others think we should reward students who make progress.Discuss these two points and give your opinion.

Encouragement is one of the most important problems that many teachers and
students
Use synonyms
 face.
However
Linking Words
, what type of
students
Use synonyms
 should be rewarded is a controversial issue. In my opinion,
Use synonyms
reward
Wrong verb form
rewarding
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
 who make
progress
Use synonyms
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people. It is obvious that the best
students
Use synonyms
 should be rewarded.
This
Linking Words
 means that the best
students
Use synonyms
 study hard and always help other
students
Use synonyms
, if they cannot get the
reward
Use synonyms
, some of them will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 their ambitions and even increase
Correct pronoun usage
their disadvantage
show examples
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantaged
show examples
 motivation.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, giving
Use synonyms
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
 to
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 that nobody will
against
Add a missing verb
be against
show examples
.it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we need to notice that we cannot only
reward
Use synonyms
 the best
students
Use synonyms
ignore
Correct word choice
but ignore
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
 who are making
progress
Use synonyms
. Sometimes, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little space between the best
students
Use synonyms
 and the progressed
students
Use synonyms
. If we only give
Use synonyms
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
 to
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
students
Use synonyms
, other
students
Use synonyms
 will
disappointed
Change the verb form
be disappointed
show examples
. In fact, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 amount number of progressed
students
Use synonyms
 in one class. On the other side,if we provide
Use synonyms
Add an article
a reward
the reward
show examples
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
 to progressed
students
Use synonyms
, they will feel it is not very difficult to get
Add an article
the benefit
a benefit
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
. so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
more and more
students
Use synonyms
 like to imitate. For the teacher, managing a class will become
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
. I think we should focus on lots of
students
Use synonyms
 who are making
progress
Use synonyms
 and give
Use synonyms
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
 to them immediately. Meanwhile, at the same time, we need to deliver more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 to the best
students
Use synonyms
. Since they can make a role to lead all the other
students
Use synonyms
make
Add the particle
to make
show examples
progress
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, giving
Use synonyms
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
 to progressed
students
Use synonyms
 is a driving force behind all the
students
Use synonyms
. It is
also
Linking Words
 a skill for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teachers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: