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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.

#fatherhood #motherhood #idea #women #babies #children
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The role of the father and mother in the family has been argued for a long time. Particularly, the
decision
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 to have a child is a very crucial point. The majority of society strongly believes that mothers are the sole authority who have
grab
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the
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 power to decide the time and place to have a baby.
Also
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, mothers are responsible for rearing
children
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 . Traditional consideration has defined the responsibilities of
parents
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.
According to
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this
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 approach, fathers care to provide basic needs of the family
such
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 as shelter, nourishment and clothes. The family consist of two main elements man and woman.
While
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 men work outside to ensure food, women cook, clean and look after
children
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.
For instance
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, the main target of men is funding families to afford basic needs like paying rent, education fees and food.
On the other hand
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, the responsibility of the mother is to bring the
children
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 up. Division of responsibilities gives a right to the mother's
decision
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 of whether or not to have babies.
However
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, the father is an important figure in the family. Conditions of the current era are different from the past. Economic circumstances are really hard, and having a baby charges both
parents
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. Decisions need the agreement of both sides.
For example
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, rearing
children
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up
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apply
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requires more investment.
Firstly
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, education fees are too much.
Secondly
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, the cost of living is high like transportation.
Therefore
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, the
decision
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 to have a baby and bring
children
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 up needs the care of both
parents
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.
İn
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In
 conclusion, the common
decision
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 of men and women is really important. Because conditions of the new age are very strong.
Parents
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 need extra effort to care about their
children
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.
Submitted by evren on

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task response
The essay contains some relevant points, but they are not fully developed or supported. The examples provided are not specific enough to fully support the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is somewhat organized, but there is room for improvement in terms of logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively linked to the main body of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Equal Parenting
  • 2. Gender Roles
  • 3. Societal Expectations
  • 4. Emotional Well-being
  • 5. Psychological Development
  • 6. Legal Frameworks
  • 7. Workplace Policies
  • 8. Gender Equality
  • 9. Traditional Responsibilities
  • 10. Active Fatherhood
  • 11. Balanced Development
  • 12. Undue Burden
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