IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Space exploration requires vast sums of money. Is the amount of money spent on space research justifiable? Could the money be better spent?

#space #exploration #sums #money #amount #research
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Inventions of
space
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 vehicles
such
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 as
space
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 probes and
space
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 shuttles enabled us to explore more
space
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 nowadays. These explorations have been made thanks to considerable
investments
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 by certain
governments
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss whether
investments
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 in
space
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exploration
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 are advantageous or disadvantageous to mankind by giving examples of the other
problems
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 that we face today.
First
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 of all,
space
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exploration
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 started
as a result
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 of the
space
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 race between the Soviet Union and the USA. Both
governments
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 aspired to show their power by sending
space
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 vehicles into
space
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instead
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 of battling against themselves using guns.
This
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 process taught a lot to all of us, especially
space
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 scientists that contribute to society, media and other parts of human life about astronomy. After
this
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 process, it is considered that the scarcity of natural resources problem can be solved by finding new places for humans on other planets. More precisely, it can be reasonable to some extent that
space
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exploration
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investments
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 are useful to us.
On the other hand
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, there are some serious
problems
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 that threaten living things or in a broad sense the whole of nature. After the advent of the industrial revolution, there is more pollution in nearly every part of the world and
this
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 situation leads to certain irreversible
problems
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 that can be only figured out by serious
investments
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 in natural sciences.
Additionally
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, the human population all over the world is increasing more and more and
as a result
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 of
this
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, inequality deteriorates more than ever. In the cases of
governments
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 investing in fighting against climate
problems
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 and inequality between people, the world may be a better place than ever.
As a result
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, it is quite reasonable that the
investments
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 in
space
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exploration
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 since it contributes to different parts of human life
such
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 as improving science or giving us the opportunity to find new possible places to live.
However
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, in my opinion,
governments
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 and international organizations must focus on solving sensitive issues rather than dealing with
space
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.
Submitted by vlcanyldrm on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • justifiable
  • vast sums of money
  • satellite communications
  • economic benefits
  • climate change
  • atmospheric changes
  • global issues
  • humanitarian needs
  • STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • colonization
  • catastrophic events
  • space exploration
  • innovations
  • job creation
  • boosting the economy
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