It is believed that people who read for pleasure develop their imagination more and acquire better language skills compared to people who prefer watching television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Introduction It is assumed that folks not only improve their creative thinking
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
enhance their language expertise when they read for fun
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when compared to those who favour watching television. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
view and would like to list down a few points to justify my agreement.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, reading is considered a very good habit to pursue since ancient days. Scholars of the past and present have encouraged reading for pleasure.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
APJ Abdul Kalam, a renowned scientist
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
once said that school kids must read about the things that fascinate them for
Correct your spelling
at least
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
30 minutes a day in order to be thorough with the particular subject. He
further
Linking Words
added that reading with satisfaction not just improves language skills but
also
Linking Words
boosts
Use synonyms
Add a hyphen
brain-related
show examples
brain related
Add a hyphen
brain-related
show examples
activity which fosters performance.
Hence
Linking Words
it can be clearly understood that those who read for enjoyment always end up with multiple benefits.
However
Linking Words
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
the other hand,
Correct your spelling
televisions
television
televsions
Correct your spelling
television
don't promote practical thinking. They often reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brain
Use synonyms
activity as viewers are more often passive spectators.
For instance
Linking Words
, watching
Harry
Correct article usage
the Harry
show examples
Potter series on television is definitely a treat for the eyes and has got nothing to do with the
brain
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
function
fuction
Correct your spelling
function
as everything is right in front, thanks to the graphics but reading the same novel makes the reader visualise every scene
thus
Linking Words
keeping the
brain
Use synonyms
active throughout. It
also
Linking Words
helps the reader to improve his or her vocabulary.
Hence
Linking Words
televisions can be seen only as a source of entertainment but cannot be the right choice for developing creativity and expanding language horizons. Conclusion To summarise, it is evident that those who find happiness in reading
are profited
Change to the active voice
profit
have profited
show examples
in multiple ways
in contrast
Linking Words
to those who prefer watching television.
Submitted by janetjai08 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: