IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is difficult for people to live in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions could be taken to solve the problem?

#people #cities #exercise
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It is true that
people
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 who are living in the centre lack
exercise
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.
This
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 essay will examine the reasons
as well as
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 some possible solutions to
this
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 problem. There are two main reasons why city dwellers tend to
exercise
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 less in the cities.
Firstly
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, it is because of the huge amount of pressure that young
people
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 are burdened with, the cost of living in the cities is relatively high than in the urban areas, so they have to work extremely hard to earn enough money or seize the opportunity for promotion.
As a result
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, they are not able to have time doing
exercise
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 in the gym.
Secondly
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, they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not aware of the importance of their health, they do not see the necessity of a physical workout
that is
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 one thing that will have the biggest impact.
For example
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, a lot of
people
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 go back home from their work and tend to lie on the sofa playing on phones
instead
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 of jogging in the neighbourhood. Those two key factors stop
people
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 from doing some physical
exercise
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 in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
However
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, some practical methods can easily reverse the current scenario a little bit. We can start by organising some interesting activities that involve physical workouts among companies, where it is
also
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 a chance for
people
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 to make friends. What is more, we should advocate to the public
on
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apply
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how important it is to
exercise
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 in our everyday life,
such
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 as giving some lectures where
people
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 can exactly know the potential threats of not getting any movement. Sometimes we are
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy
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 to do something just because we have no idea about how serious the situation is going to be if we
are
Verb problem
do
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 not
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 it.
For example
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, it is scientifically proven that a huge decrease in smokers after printing those horrible legacies on the
cigerrates’
Correct your spelling
cigarettes’
 boxes.
To conclude
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, not getting enough physical activity will ultimately
be
Verb problem
have
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 a negative impact on
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
us
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,
however
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, we can significantly lessen the influence by letting
people
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 realize the real consequence of not doing it and making it much fun
of doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
 it.
Submitted by 980907152 on

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task response
Provide a more balanced analysis of the causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and connected throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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