In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts, while boys like science. what are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?
It is common that at schools and universities, ladies and boys tend to choose the subjects which are more suitable for their gender
as well as
for stereotypes. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will explain the causes and Linking Words
also
add my opinion.
To start with schoolgirls are more inclined to study art, Linking Words
while
schoolboys choose science. One of the main reasons can be both males and females are advised by their family members. Linking Words
This
means that parents always advise their children to follow their parents' careers to be successful in the past. Linking Words
Moreover
, another reason of males and females choosing subjects that are appropriate for their physiological body. Linking Words
For instance
, young woman should study cooking based on their strengths.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, I disagree with Linking Words
this
point that girls and boys should obey the advice and stereotypes. First of all, everybody has a right to follow their dream, despite of which type of society they grow. Linking Words
For instance
, based on the real-life story of one man who dedicated his career to clothing design, even though Linking Words
this
is a profession suitable for women. Linking Words
Additionally
, future generations building their careers need the support of their loved ones. So Linking Words
this
means it is the best option for the young generation to explore and develop themselves Linking Words
further
in the future.
Linking Words
To sum up
, it is a common trend that schoolgirls are more into art and schoolboys into science, I believe each teenager will become a better version of themselves If they are encouraged to follow their dream which is what they are good at.Linking Words
Submitted by shahobhozratkulov on
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task achievement
There should be more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. For instance, you can discuss specific studies or statistics that support the trend mentioned in the essay.
task achievement
The essay should be more comprehensive in exploring a variety of reasons for the trend. It would be beneficial to include more diverse arguments and viewpoints.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are slightly unclear and could be rephrased for better understanding.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure can be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea. Ensure smooth transitions between different points.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points of the essay. This helps in achieving a coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
Support main ideas with in-depth explanations and relevant examples to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You have chosen appropriate and relevant points to discuss in the essay, focusing on societal advice and the physiological aspect.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion regarding the topic, which adds strength to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You have attempted to provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points, which is good for overall coherence.