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Band 4.5

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and methods of preparation.

#convenience #foods #methods #preparation
There is a common belief that
convenience
food
 productions are
substituing
Correct your spelling
substituting
 gradually traditional
foods
 and these methods. I firmly disagree with
this
 trend, as now will be discussed/ To commence, there always has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 demand for cooking old categories of
food
. One of the major facts
relatd
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related
 to
this
demaind
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demand
 is that every
yeaer
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year
million
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millions
show examples
 of people entering in plenty of traditional
food
 cooking classes. Since they all went to cook delicious meals not only for themselves but
also
 for their family and close relatives. In Viet Nam,
for example
, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of teenagers and adults approaching and learning how to cook traditional meals never
cearer
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clearer
 to grow.
Convincenly
Correct your spelling
Conveniently
,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 survey conducted by journalists
in
Change preposition
across
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globe
Correct article usage
the globe
show examples
 displays that over 60% of people admitted to
cook
Change the verb form
cooking
show examples
 a traditional meal for their family if they have enough time.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
Further more
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Furthermore
show examples
, lots of
inhabitents
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inhabitants
 around the world believe that Despite having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenience
,
convenience
foods
 like
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
, KFC chicken and so on
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
contains
contained
cntains
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contain
 fats and loads of toxic
subtences
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substances
 which are
undautfuly
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undoubtfully
 not good for people’s
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
.
Thus
 people frequently
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 an
Correct your spelling
effort
effert
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effort
 to enjoy traditional
foods
 either at a restaurant or at home. For
Correct your spelling
instance
instene
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instance
, after their
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
 hours, more than
Correct your spelling
half
helf
Correct your spelling
half
 of workers have lunch at traditional restaurants
instead
 of
convenience
food
 stores.
In addition
, in 2022,
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of restaurants have climbed dramatically due to the needs of
Add an article
the customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
.
As a result
,
convenience
foods
 can not replace traditional
foods
. To recapitulate , again, I do disagree about the wrong
awerrness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about the replacement of traditional of the society.
Submitted by vy.tran.crkh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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