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Band 5

Some believe that technology, such as mobile phones, cell phones are destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #technology #phones #cell #interaction
Today's world is more addicted to technology than before, and there are many areas in which it is being used. It is still debated among people that the
use
 of electronic devices is decreasing interaction with society. In my opinion, meeting people is
effecting
Replace the word
effective
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 due to the
use
 of communication peripherals.
Firstly
, youngsters spend most of their time in the
use
 of mobile phones, so they communicate less with their parents or
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the community.
For example
, playing a game on
such
 devices can be
time-consuming
Add an article
a time-consuming
show examples
 process. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children do not like to go outside, because they prefer to play games online, and
as a result
, they cannot interact with their friends, and family
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the time.
Secondly
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
play
Change the verb form
plays
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 an important role in less social interaction as well.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of the population like to interact online.
For instance
, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter is a good source of communication,
thus
 people do not hesitate to
use
 them for social interface but to some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
show examples
 it is not as good to make relationship and it increases social distance.
On the other hand
, communication devices are good if you are at a long distance. Most of the world lives in foreign countries, so in that
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 it improves social interaction
instead
 of
destroying
Correct pronoun usage
itdestroying
show examples
. In Conclusion,
Although
 there are many demerits of using the digital era,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 many pros are still there.
However
, in my point of view, we should not have an addiction to
such
 things and should improve our meeting with society.
Submitted by sonia.devi66971 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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