Fewer and fewer young people are politically active because they see politics as irrelevant. How far do you agree with this statement? How can younger people be encouraged to participate more in politics?

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There has been a decline in the number of young people who are interested in governmental affairs, usually because they deem politics to be a waste of time. In
this
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essay, I will discuss why I agree with
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statement and provide some solutions. The youth, generally, refuse to participate in political matters as
,
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they feel as if their voice and opinion
is
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are
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unheard.
For instance
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, university fees have recently dramatically increased to $9,250, with many students having to take out loans in order to gain
further
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education. Many of these pupils will be in debt for years to come just because they want to obtain a degree. Despite many protests occurring against
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a notion,
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action was still enforced.
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,
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leads to a heightened sense amongst the young that their reasoning is irrelevant and that their opinion does not matter. In order for the next generation to become more engaged in the political world, there needs to be more youthful representation. There should be a leader put in place that passes direct bills on any disputes younger people may have.
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, talks about university fees and housing prices increasing at a rate
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which graduates cannot afford
,
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should be discussed within parliament. When
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generation
see
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sees
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that any qualms they have are being debated and that they are
finally
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being represented, they will automatically become more interested in politics.
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, politicians should make an active effort to visit institutions, like schools so that students can familiarise themselves with those who are in leadership positions. In conclusion, a large proportion of the youth are disinterested in governmental strategies as they are not included in them. An authoritative figure who is around their age must be elected in order to involve
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age group.
Submitted by abeera2012 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed throughout. Some paragraphs may benefit from additional supporting details or examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, but be sure to reiterate your key points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
The essay could improve on task achievement by addressing both parts of the question fully, providing a balanced discussion on the reasons for the diminished political engagement as well as a more varied range of solutions to encourage participation.
task achievement
Be careful with generalizations, and try to provide more specific examples or data to substantiate your claims, which will also help in achieving a higher score in task achievement.
task achievement
Make sure the examples used are directly relevant to the claims made and try to ensure that they are explained with respect to how they support the essay's overall position.
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