IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #gym #health #club #activities #stairs
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Physical fitness is as important as breathing in the air. It is often argued by some people that gymming is necessary to remain fit, whereas, other opine that there are other ways by which a
person
Use synonyms
 can remain healthy
such
Linking Words
 as walking, climbing stairs and doing other household activities. I believe that a
person
Use synonyms
 should do normal daily tasks to keep a
body
Use synonyms
 in its shape. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall discuss both points followed by my opinion. At the outset, some individuals think that enrolling
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some health club is significant to remain healthy. Some people join
fitness
Add an article
a fitness
show examples
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
 to keep their
Use synonyms
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 in shape by using different types of machines kept over there.
For instance
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, I have seen many
filmstars
Correct your spelling
film stars
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 going to the gym as their daily routine, because their
body
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 shape is crucial for their career.
Moreover
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, the subscription to
such
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 places is not free of cost, so once an individual
enrol
Change the verb form
enrols
show examples
 there, he will think before quitting. So eventually, going there daily becomes a part of life.
Therefore
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, people prefer to join clubs to set their routines.
On the other hand
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, in my opinion, a
person
Use synonyms
 has to do
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
 walk,
running
Wrong verb form
run
show examples
 or help his or her family members in doing household chores. In the past, our grandparents do not go to any gym, they do all their tasks on
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
instead
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 of using any machines. There were no automobiles earlier so they have to walk to go to another place.
For example
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, My grandfather used to tell me how much he used to work when he was young, he died in his 90s and he had not a single health problem.
Hence
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, gymming is not necessary for your
body
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's fitness. To put it in a nutshell, gymming is an option for a
person
Use synonyms
 where he or she can enrol themselves,
however
Linking Words
, doing a walk and other physical works are more important to keep your
body
Use synonyms
 fit on a daily basis.
Submitted by shikha_dhingra on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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