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Band 4.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
It is true that we are living in a modernized world where transportation is one of the most essential aspects in terms of improving human life. There are some opposing opinions about which the
government
's money should be spent on. Personally, I partly agree with both ideas. On the one hand, some people believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 ought to spend an enormous amount of money on building new railway lines and train stations for modern trains across cities. From my standpoint, if very fast trains are provided between cities, it could reduce air and noise pollution. There will be
Correct article usage
a slight
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slight
Replace the word
slightly
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increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 in
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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financial
Replace the word
finances
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 from train tickets that the locals consume
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Although
 there are some countries in the world
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
show examples
is there
Correct your spelling
as their
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main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 type of transport, it's unnoticeable and unfamiliar for our
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 to interact with modernized trains. They may
found
Wrong verb form
find
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it's
Unnecessary verb
it
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 too
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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 and unindividual.
On the other hand
, nowadays public transport from our country causes a lot of environmental issues. For that reason, some of us believe it is more important to improve the existing transportation.
For instance
, the
government
 should provide our people with electrical vehicles
or
Correct word choice
apply
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which use eco-friendly power
such
 as nuclear, solar, wind or even
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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instead
 of
old fashioned
Add a hyphen
old-fashioned
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 vehicles that
emits
Change the verb form
emit
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 the earth with
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 exhaust fume. Overall, these two logical opinions have their advantages and disadvantages. Every individual is in need of transportation in their daily activities. What actually matters is the
government
 should spend time and money to improve the quality of citizen's life in their country.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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