Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four years. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
since medical treatments have progressed, many people expect to live longer than before.
Although
there may be some positive consequences of Linking Words
this
trend, I believe it is more harmful.
Linking Words
Due to
advances in medicine, more diseases are curable today, which allows us to spend more time with our families, and have our parents around as it is significant for a child. Linking Words
For example
, many children in the past may have lost their parents to disease outbreaks, and they would have been left alone to survive.Linking Words
in addition
, we can Linking Words
also
follow our dreams for a Linking Words
while
longer, achieve more accomplishments, and enjoy our time by travelling around the world and Linking Words
by
trying new hobbies as well.
Change preposition
apply
However
, a rise in life expectancy rates has some negative impacts on society. the main issue is that, as the population gets older, more people of retirement age will obviously be eligible to receive a pension, and governments would Linking Words
therefore
receive less money in taxes. Linking Words
In other words
, young working adults should take more responsibility for tax payments. Linking Words
Moreover
, young adults would be under pressure Linking Words
of taking
care of their elderly relatives and pay for their needs as well. these responsibilities make them Change preposition
to take
too
busy that they do not tend to have their own spouse and children. Rephrase
so
For instance
, in Iran, as the proportion of working people is becoming smaller, the birth rate is decreasing.
In conclusion, developments related to medicines have resulted in higher life expectancy. Linking Words
While
it has positive effects on individuals, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.Linking Words
Submitted by hee75230 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay adequately responds to the task, providing relevant ideas and examples. However, make sure to maintain a well-balanced argument throughout the essay, clearly stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Ensure that your introduction gives a clear overview of the main points you will discuss, and that your conclusion summarizes your arguments and provides a clear stance on the issue.