IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a persons culture and character from their choice of clothes? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #persons #culture #character #choice #clothes
Some individuals
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that dresses indicate the human personality.In order to get information about ,culture it is enough to look at a person's style of clothing.I partially disagree with
this
 statement.
Above all
,there are a lot of
fashion
 houses all over the world ,especially in the big cities.They have a big impact on
people
 who are shopaholics and slaves to
fashion
 simply because these types of
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
 try to keep up with the latest
fashion
 in order to look good or be different from others
therefore
 the majority of
people
 do not buy clothes
according to
 their pleasure.
In other words
,in spite of having different characters
people
 wear the same dresses.Even they opt same colours when it comes to purchasing anything.One explanation for
this
,
as a result
 of a survey ,journalists determined that 60 per cent of
people
 pay only attention to
fashion
instead
 of their personality.
Furthermore
,it is irrefutable that many
people
 do not
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 their own decisions with regard to choosing the proper products.They have difficulty making the right verdict.These kinds of human beings depend on others' opinions
hence
 when they go shopping they are more likely to take their friends so as to help them to buy some clothes.
That is
 why it is difficult to find out a person's character at first sight.To justify my opinion,
people
 are deprived of opting for anything back in their childhood in my country which is why they are unable to do shopping alone.
To conclude
,I partially disagree with the notion
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 clothes give information about someone's culture and character.
Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically organized throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a partial response to the task, but it would be beneficial to express your opinion more clearly and develop your points in more detail.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional garments
  • Cultural background
  • Personal identity
  • Character traits
  • Social status
  • Profession
  • Subcultures
  • Conformity
  • External factors
  • Globalization
  • Fashion trends
  • Cultural identity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: