IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

University should accept equal number of male and female in every subject, what extent are u agree or disagree.

In the present world, education is quite important for all people. Many people
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
 that institution should allow
the
Correct article usage
apply
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female students to choose their subject according to their convenience because
females
Use synonyms
 are equally capable
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 male and I completely agree with the statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, these days,
females
Use synonyms
 are dominating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male in terms of education, they spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning and understanding concept, which help them to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perfect score in
class
Add an article
the class
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
females
Use synonyms
 are holding
top
Add an article
a top
the top
show examples
post
Fix the agreement mistake
posts
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 in many countries because they are capable to do anything because they
are quite focus
Change the verb form
are quite focused
are quite focusing
show examples
towards
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their work and organization. According to the survey conducted by Times of India in, 2022, 70% of
females
Use synonyms
 are
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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 in India because they are quite hardworking and focused
towards
Change preposition
on
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the above, in army required a
lot
Use synonyms
 of physical and mental fitness,
females
Use synonyms
 do a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
Hard
Fix capitalization
hard
show examples
 work and they spend most of the time on fitness and
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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 their body fit,
as a result
Linking Words
 in many countries
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females
Use synonyms
 join the army and they are serving the nation. Moving
further
Linking Words
, universities should allow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females
Use synonyms
 to choose their
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 only they get the dream job, which may help the government
also
Linking Words
,
for instance
Linking Words
, in covid
pandemic
Add a comma
,pandemic
show examples
 many countries face a shortage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical practitioner and due to that a
lot
Use synonyms
 of people lost their life. Overall,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities should not discriminate the students based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender, they should allow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student to choose their subject according to their choice and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provide the best facilities to the students so they will not face any
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadening horizons
  • cultural awareness
  • adaptability
  • specialized courses
  • top-tier educational programs
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • language acquisition
  • global network
  • financial burden
  • homesickness
  • cultural shock
  • social isolation
  • educational systems
  • teaching styles
  • language barriers
  • academic performance
  • visa restrictions
  • employment opportunities
What to do next:
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