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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think children should learn to paint and draw at school. Others believe it is just a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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These days,
people
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 are more interested in sciences and the economy.
According to
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 recent surveys that provide us with two main opinions.
First,
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some
people
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 think that
art
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 in schools is a waste of time over crucial subjects. Others believe it is significant for children to learn how to draw and paint. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views by providing examples and reasons why I totally support the first opinion. On the one hand,
Art
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 is a magnificent subject but we have to consider it as a minor topic , especially for children, they should
initially
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 focus on basics
initially
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.
Such
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 as mathematics, literature, and biology. A recent study that learning drawing skills is better for students above 20 years old.
Also
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, if the student has the ability to decide if he wants to study
Art
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 or not.
Finally
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, youths must have independence and feel free about choices in their lives.
On the other hand
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, drawing might motivate creativity in children.
As a result
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 of that, a lot of
people
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 claim that young
people
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 should be involved with
Art
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 early. So,
according to
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this
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 concept, several research started recently, but until now none of those studies approached solid outcomes. In my opinion, I believe in basics and I do not like anything that can be regarded as a consumer of time.
In addition
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, basics it is the original station for everything and you can not be a creative person when you lack essentials. In conclusion, drawing and painting are useful skills but my argument is not on
this
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 certain group's age.
Moreover
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, we must not distract students with minor subjects unless consider it as entertainment when they have a pace of time.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. Each point should be well-developed to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that supporting sentences relate directly to that idea. This will improve logical flow across the essay.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, try to summarize your main points in the conclusion more explicitly to strengthen the final message.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is a necessary part of the task. Your opinion is clearly stated in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • personal expression
  • emotional release
  • overall development
  • fine motor skills
  • hand-eye coordination
  • academic performance
  • STEM fields
  • well-rounded
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • innovation
  • arts education
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