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Band 7.5

Many people put their personal information online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

#people #information #activities #networks #purposes #development
These days, most individuals are likely to post their daily private
life
 on social media and widely use online banking networks.
Although
 some of them reckon that
this
 has various benefits,
others
 including me believe that
this
 can be disastrous to the community. In
this
 essay, the adverse implications of revealing personal data on online social will be explained before my perspective is reached. Updating daily
life
 on social publishing
such
 as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and many more can be harmful to users because bad guys can realize your activities that often and the location where you are. These stalkers can abuse and harass you.
For example
, Lisa Blackpink, a Korean girl group snapped a picture of her underwear when she was in a K-pop event in Thailand because she posted her picture when she participated in the event on her Instagram story and made the stalker know her location.
Moreover
, private information
such
 as phone numbers and bank accounts should not be posted on any publishing, which can lead to being hacked by hackers, and eventually losing a lot of money.
In addition
, posting daily
life
 stories and pictures every day can make
others
 less self-esteem due to being jealous and envious. According to phycology research, 90 per cent of pictures and stories being posted on Instagram and Facebook frequently are related to success, wealth, a beautiful body, and perfect
life
.
For instance
, people always posted themselves with luxury cars, big houses, muscular bodies, delicious foods, and costly coffee to increase their confidence and be admired by
others
.
However
, these can contribute to social toxicity because
others
 will compare the successful
life
 from the picture with their
life
 that has nothing.
Therefore
, people feel upset and disappointed with themselves. In conclusion, the aforementioned reasons present the disadvantages of putting private data online. In my opinion, it is more negative for anyone, and online users should carefully think before posting anything on social media.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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