Many people put their personal information online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

#people #information #activities #networks #purposes #development

These days, most individuals are likely to post their daily private

life

on social media and widely use online banking networks.

Although

some of them reckon that

this

has various benefits,

others

including me believe that

this

can be disastrous to the community. In

this

essay, the adverse implications of revealing personal data on online social will be explained before my perspective is reached. Updating daily

life

on social publishing

such

as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and many more can be harmful to users because bad guys can realize your activities that often and the location where you are. These stalkers can abuse and harass you.

For example

, Lisa Blackpink, a Korean girl group snapped a picture of her underwear when she was in a K-pop event in Thailand because she posted her picture when she participated in the event on her Instagram story and made the stalker know her location.

Moreover

, private information

such

as phone numbers and bank accounts should not be posted on any publishing, which can lead to being hacked by hackers, and eventually losing a lot of money.

In addition

, posting daily

life

stories and pictures every day can make

others

less self-esteem due to being jealous and envious. According to phycology research, 90 per cent of pictures and stories being posted on Instagram and Facebook frequently are related to success, wealth, a beautiful body, and perfect

life

For instance

, people always posted themselves with luxury cars, big houses, muscular bodies, delicious foods, and costly coffee to increase their confidence and be admired by

others

However

, these can contribute to social toxicity because

others

will compare the successful

life

from the picture with their

life

that has nothing.

Therefore

, people feel upset and disappointed with themselves. In conclusion, the aforementioned reasons present the disadvantages of putting private data online. In my opinion, it is more negative for anyone, and online users should carefully think before posting anything on social media.

Submitted by pantamitsaekong on Wed Oct 05 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
cybercrimes
identity theft
financial fraud
enhanced social connectivity
dependence on technology
customised services
privacy concerns
data breaches
social networks
personal information
online platforms

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Many people put their personal information online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your friend who is interested in learning how to drive. In your letter ● say why a driving license is advantageous ● recommend a driving school ● give any extra guidance /tips Begin your letter as follows: Dear ___________,