Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #industry #workers #individuals

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Age and

work

Use synonyms

experience

Use synonyms

are two determinant factors of

effectiveness

Correct article usage

the effectiveness

show examples

and productivity of services provided. Some believe that the elderly

workers

Use synonyms

should be replaced by the younger energetic generation, while others argue the

experience

Use synonyms

of the senior employers should not be disregarded. In my opinion, I agree that

workforce

Correct article usage

the workforce

show examples

should comprise mainly of youngsters, while retaining the experienced

elserly

Correct your spelling

elderly

workers

Use synonyms

in other posts,

such

Linking Words

advisary

Correct your spelling

advisory

or supervisor posts.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

generation should be recruited

Change preposition

for

show examples

industrial

work

Use synonyms

over the older

workers

Use synonyms

because of many reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, young

workers

Use synonyms

have more physical stamina and

less

Add a missing verb

are less

show examples

likely to fall sick.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the average number of working hours they are able to offer

are

Change the verb form

show examples

much more than when they age. Youngers are enthusiastic and more committed.

This

Linking Words

stems from the fact they are new to the

work

Use synonyms

environment, with fresh minds. And

also

Linking Words

has less family

Correct your spelling

commitment

commitments

committment

Correct your spelling

commitment

and other family members older than them to support them. All

this

Linking Words

enable

Correct subject-verb agreement

enables

show examples

them to provide better service at

work

Use synonyms

. The major downside of employing naive, fresh out of the school teenagers

are

Change the verb form

show examples

their lack of

experience

Use synonyms

. There are bound to make mistakes and their ability to prevent accidents

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not

Add a hyphen

fine-tuned

show examples

fine tuned

Add a hyphen

fine-tuned

show examples

as compared to

a years

Correct the article-noun agreement

years

a year

show examples

trained

Add an article

the trained

a trained

show examples

worker.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

training can solve

this

Linking Words

issue with

Correct your spelling

inexperience

experience

inwxperience

Correct your spelling

experience

to some extent, it cannot be completely

aleviated

Correct your spelling

alleviated

Thus

Linking Words

, the presence of

Use synonyms

experience

Correct article usage

an experience

show examples

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

is essential. In conclusion,

Correct your spelling

even though

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

the factories would

immensly

Correct your spelling

immensely

benefit from the

entusiasm

Correct your spelling

enthusiasm

and energy young recruiters bring, they have to retain some of the older

worker

Change to a plural noun

workers

show examples

to maintain a safe working environment.

Submitted by ghm_day on Thu Oct 06 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

experienced
old workers
young
inexperienced
replace
industry
wise
argue
valuable
skills
knowledge
loss of expertise
lack
necessary
experience
maturity
diverse
workforce
mix
age groups
beneficial
focus
providing opportunities
continuous learning
development
balanced approach
smooth transition
maintain productivity

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Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the current society, many people are struggling with obesity. What are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

Some people think that the best way to learn about business is to study a course at college or university. Others believe that there are other better ways to learn about business. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the past, many people got married when they were very young, but today, many people do not get married until later. Why do you think they do this, and is it a good or a bad idea?