Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Age and
work
experience
are two determinant factors of
effectiveness
Correct article usage
the effectiveness
show examples
and productivity of services provided. Some believe that the elderly
workers
should be replaced by the younger energetic generation, while others argue the
experience
of the senior employers should not be disregarded. In my opinion, I agree that
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
should comprise mainly of youngsters, while retaining the experienced
elserly
Correct your spelling
elderly
workers
in other posts,
such
as
advisary
Correct your spelling
advisory
or supervisor posts.
To begin
with,
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation should be recruited
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
industrial
work
over the older
workers
because of many reasons.
Firstly
, young
workers
have more physical stamina and
less
Add a missing verb
are less
show examples
likely to fall sick.
Therefore
, the average number of working hours they are able to offer
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
much more than when they age. Youngers are enthusiastic and more committed.
This
stems from the fact they are new to the
work
environment, with fresh minds. And
also
has less family
Correct your spelling
commitment
commitments
committment
Correct your spelling
commitment
and other family members older than them to support them. All
this
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
them to provide better service at
work
. The major downside of employing naive, fresh out of the school teenagers
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
their lack of
experience
. There are bound to make mistakes and their ability to prevent accidents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not
Add a hyphen
fine-tuned
show examples
fine tuned
Add a hyphen
fine-tuned
show examples
as compared to
a years
Correct the article-noun agreement
years
a year
show examples
of
trained
Add an article
the trained
a trained
show examples
worker.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
training can solve
this
issue with
Correct your spelling
inexperience
experience
inwxperience
Correct your spelling
experience
to some extent, it cannot be completely
aleviated
Correct your spelling
alleviated
.
Thus
, the presence of
experience
Correct article usage
an experience
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
is essential. In conclusion,
Correct your spelling
even though
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
the factories would
immensly
Correct your spelling
immensely
benefit from the
entusiasm
Correct your spelling
enthusiasm
and energy young recruiters bring, they have to retain some of the older
worker
Change to a plural noun
workers
show examples
to maintain a safe working environment.
Submitted by ghm_day on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • experienced
  • old workers
  • young
  • inexperienced
  • replace
  • industry
  • wise
  • argue
  • valuable
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • loss of expertise
  • lack
  • necessary
  • experience
  • maturity
  • diverse
  • workforce
  • mix
  • age groups
  • beneficial
  • focus
  • providing opportunities
  • continuous learning
  • development
  • balanced approach
  • smooth transition
  • maintain productivity
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