IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #part #sports #teams #football #tennis
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some conflicting
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 on whether
people
Use synonyms
 should prefer
team
Use synonyms
sport
Use synonyms
 or solo
sport
Use synonyms
 . From my observation,
although
Linking Words
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
exert
Change the verb form
exerts
show examples
 some great benefits, I would argue that combination
sport
Use synonyms
 deserves to
Add a missing verb
be picked
show examples
picked
Change the verb
pick
show examples
 more than its competitor. On the one hand, I partly can understand why
people
Use synonyms
 would prefer solo
sports
Use synonyms
 as
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can earn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independence and profound specialization, for playing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual
sports
Use synonyms
 requires
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 in-depth skills in
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 area of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interest, which need a lot of effort and time to achieve.
For instance
Linking Words
, a chess
player
Use synonyms
 needs to show
consecutively
Correct article usage
a consecutively
show examples
 high-performance mindset when playing chess without any support from anyone, so they will know how to independently conquer the competition and overthink
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any steps that they will do in chess.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solo
sports
Use synonyms
 always reflect their true ability, and
thus
Linking Words
 the winner in
this
Linking Words
 kind of
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 deserves to get rewarded and critically acclaimed by
people
Use synonyms
, with no doubt from everybody.
Linking Words
ON
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, in spite of some enormous merits
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 personal
sport
Use synonyms
, I am still of opinion that the
team
Use synonyms
sport
Use synonyms
 is better.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
team
Use synonyms
sport
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
capability is not appreciated highly, whereas the sense of
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
 is the pivotal
elements
Fix the agreement mistake
element
show examples
,
thus
Linking Words
 being friendly and integrating
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
the
Add a missing verb
are the
show examples
 key point .
In particular
Linking Words
, there are plural persons in
this
Linking Words
sport
Use synonyms
, which need a corporation and be in harmony to become the
championship
Replace the word
champion
show examples
. To illustrate, in the football
team
Use synonyms
, if they want to operate smoothly, any
player
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
team
Use synonyms
 will need to understand and support each other, and I can imagine that the football
team
Use synonyms
 could easily fall down
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 abyss if
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
team
Use synonyms
 had not
coordination
Replace the word
coordinated
show examples
 between
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
although
Linking Words
 all the
player
Use synonyms
 in that
team
Use synonyms
own
Change the verb form
owns
show examples
a valuable and essential skills
Correct the article-noun agreement
valuable and essential skills
a valuable and essential skill
show examples
. In the end,
people
Use synonyms
 can share their success with their
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
show examples
 and celebrate with them
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their happiness. In conclusion, while
sport
Use synonyms
 playing by
independent
Add an article
an independent
the independent
show examples
 individual can provide have some advantages, I believe that the
team
Use synonyms
 is more
worthy
Replace the word
worth
show examples
 playing for the factor of working together and sharing joy
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other.
Submitted by trminhchau27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: