IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some persons feel museums are not important and so shouldn't be funded by government. To wavy extent do you agree or disagree.

#persons #museums #shouldn #government
There is currently a contentious argument over whether museums are not imperative and shouldn’t be financed by the authorities I totally disagree with the opinion because these sites are used for tourist attractions,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
also
 help to increase the internally generated revenue. The main reason why I believe that museums are important is that when most tourist visits a particular country most of the persons wants to see those artefacts that are kept in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 museums
for example
 in Lagos Nigeria there is a place
were
Correct your spelling
where
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 salve trade took place In Badagry must of the materials used during that time is still there and they are preserved in that and people visits those place to see those monuments at the museum. Another reason why I disagree with
this
 notion is that if
this
 project is funded by the government it will
also
 help to preserve our culture and when people visit
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 sites they will have to pay a token to see
this artefacts
Change the determiner
this artefact
these artefacts
show examples
this
 will
further
 boost the internally generated revenue. In conclusion
Add a comma
,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 totally disagree with the idea that artifactual sites are not important and shouldn’t be financed by the government because these places act as
Add an article
a site
show examples
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
 of attraction and
also
 increase our IGR. Given
this
 situation
Add a comma
,
show examples
it seems that government should fund these projects. They can
also
 use it for educational purposes.
Submitted by idoghojennifer on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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